I can't believe how much better this past week has been. CO is still defiant...but he seemed to be less so. He wasn't perfect and had his moments...but really it seemed like it was a nicer week.
The social worker (SW) called to say that J's visits are being extended to 3 hours to accomodate BM whom has shown up (doesn't have a fixed address but seems to be in the area). It seems CAS has to accomodate her as in court this month they are giving the grandparents time to aquire legal council in order to fight CAS's application for crown wardship. I knew going into this that it was going to be a long ordeal and that there were no guarantees that in the end the courts would grant crownwardship. So instead he is going to be gone for 5 hours every other friday (2 hours being travel time). I need to ask the SW what happens if BM decides to disappear again, if he will come home an hour early or if the grandparents will just have him the extra hour.
In the meantime J is a joy and blessing...who is starting to show his temper :). He is 17 months old and is picking up sign language quite quickly. This week he used three signs in a row to ask for more milk (he signed more, milk, please). I need to expand my knowledge of signs so that I can continue to add to his. It is SO nice when he uses his signs to communicate his desires rather than his squeal. His eating is getting better too! this past week he willingly picked up some cooked vegetable chunks and ate them :) sounds crazy but it is true! He is still a crazy picky eater but I can count on him eating SO much more than I could in the begining. He is up to 24.5lbs. He is working on puzzles and will stack blocks a few high (and then knock them down). I invested in a wood block animal puzzle (it has four blocks and a box they fit into). He doesn't try to form the animal but he spent a good 30-45 minutes practicing and mastering fitting the blocks into the box. He LOVES water and often will try pulling off his own clothes and try to climb into the bathtub when I am in the bathroom.
Speaking of bathroom....mine is almost done! I have a toilet and a working tub. My first bath wasn't as grand as I had planned...but when I return from being at the cottage this next week my relaxing, hot bath with my glass of wine and candles await me :)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
cottage...week 1
My plan this summer is to try to spend every other week at the cottage. It is a lovely peaceful place on a Christian campground. It is a safe place for kids to be. I can know that CO is at the park on the next street over and I don't have to be there with him. (It is really quite close and I just have to walk a little down the street and I can see the park). CO can ride his bike and I don't have to worry.
We just got home from our first week at the cottage. Did I mention that the cottage is 12x24 feet big :) and two stories tall. It has a kitchen, sitting room and bedroom. Upstairs is wall to wall mattresses with walking space between and some shelving. It is sort of divided into three rooms upstairs. We can and have fit a lot of people in this little building and it works...more effectively in nice weather...less so in rainy weather. I remember one summer it was raining and the kids set up all the barbies in the back of my pick up truck and played back there for part of the afternoon. :)
Our week this past week was good. We didn't get there until Tuesday night as I had a staff meeting Tuesday afternoon. We made it to the pool once. It rained all three nights. The first night was a small thunder & lightning storm, the second was a severe thunder & lightning storm and the last it just rained. Night two CO FREAKED out (part of it was being tired, part of it was the sound of the major storm on the steel roof above his head) and ended up sleeping in my bed. Needless to say we didn't fall asleep until 1130pm and he was still up at 6am. UG. Most people don't believe me that he is incapable of sleeping in. He only catches up on his sleep by his afternoon naps. Overall we had a successful week. There were lessons to be learned...like you aren't allowed to take off with your 1 year old brother to the park without mommy.
Today was the hardest day. It was rainy and blah outside and I was trying to keep them inside on the most part. J was not in a good mood (maybe coming down with something) and was more irritated by CO's actions and was very fussy. I was handing out lots of time-outs for CO and finally mid morning J just went back to bed, the rain stopped and CO and I went for a small walk down the street. We watched one of the maintenance guys repairing the road after a washout and CO was fascinated and full of questions. CO had a LONG nap in the afternoon so that probably accounted for part of his rough morning. tired. I just get SO fed up by him hitting, kicking and shoving. Myself and J. And he seems to do it more when tired. and hungry. It is a fine line.
Now we are home. J is at respite for the weekend and I am officially unpacked. (my least favorite part about going away and I usually drag it out for days)
CO is tucked in bed and heading to the trailer in the morning with my parents...me...I should be getting ready for work...instead I type :) and catch up reading blogs.
my less than a year old laptop is caput. I would love to send it away for repairs (warranty) unfortunately I am having to wait for a dumb postal strike to be over. So in the mean time I manage with occasionally borrowing mom's computer in the evening (after the kids are in bed). It would SURE be nice to have mine back and in working condition...so far I am not going to have my hopes up to have it functional this summer. It is supposed to take 2-3 weeks after I send it away and in the meantime I am stuck with not being able to even send it...here is to hoping the Canadian Government forces the postal workers back to work!! (I know selfish of me...)
We just got home from our first week at the cottage. Did I mention that the cottage is 12x24 feet big :) and two stories tall. It has a kitchen, sitting room and bedroom. Upstairs is wall to wall mattresses with walking space between and some shelving. It is sort of divided into three rooms upstairs. We can and have fit a lot of people in this little building and it works...more effectively in nice weather...less so in rainy weather. I remember one summer it was raining and the kids set up all the barbies in the back of my pick up truck and played back there for part of the afternoon. :)
Our week this past week was good. We didn't get there until Tuesday night as I had a staff meeting Tuesday afternoon. We made it to the pool once. It rained all three nights. The first night was a small thunder & lightning storm, the second was a severe thunder & lightning storm and the last it just rained. Night two CO FREAKED out (part of it was being tired, part of it was the sound of the major storm on the steel roof above his head) and ended up sleeping in my bed. Needless to say we didn't fall asleep until 1130pm and he was still up at 6am. UG. Most people don't believe me that he is incapable of sleeping in. He only catches up on his sleep by his afternoon naps. Overall we had a successful week. There were lessons to be learned...like you aren't allowed to take off with your 1 year old brother to the park without mommy.
Today was the hardest day. It was rainy and blah outside and I was trying to keep them inside on the most part. J was not in a good mood (maybe coming down with something) and was more irritated by CO's actions and was very fussy. I was handing out lots of time-outs for CO and finally mid morning J just went back to bed, the rain stopped and CO and I went for a small walk down the street. We watched one of the maintenance guys repairing the road after a washout and CO was fascinated and full of questions. CO had a LONG nap in the afternoon so that probably accounted for part of his rough morning. tired. I just get SO fed up by him hitting, kicking and shoving. Myself and J. And he seems to do it more when tired. and hungry. It is a fine line.
Now we are home. J is at respite for the weekend and I am officially unpacked. (my least favorite part about going away and I usually drag it out for days)
CO is tucked in bed and heading to the trailer in the morning with my parents...me...I should be getting ready for work...instead I type :) and catch up reading blogs.
my less than a year old laptop is caput. I would love to send it away for repairs (warranty) unfortunately I am having to wait for a dumb postal strike to be over. So in the mean time I manage with occasionally borrowing mom's computer in the evening (after the kids are in bed). It would SURE be nice to have mine back and in working condition...so far I am not going to have my hopes up to have it functional this summer. It is supposed to take 2-3 weeks after I send it away and in the meantime I am stuck with not being able to even send it...here is to hoping the Canadian Government forces the postal workers back to work!! (I know selfish of me...)
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Prayer for a strong willed child
Prayer for a Strong-Willed Child
When parents bring one of these tough youngsters into the world, they need to recognize that while raising that child may be difficult for a time, it is worth their effort to do the job right. Their attitude should be, "The Lord gave me this challenging child for a purpose. He wants me to mold and shape this youngster and prepare him or her for a life of service to Him. And I'm up to the task. I'm going to make it with the Lord's help." That's the healthy way of looking at parenting when the pressure is on.
I am convinced that there is no other true source of confidence in parenting. There is not enough knowledge in the books, mine or anyone else's, to counteract the evil that surrounds our kids today. We must bathe them in fervent prayer when we are in our prayer closet, saying words similar to these:
"Lord, You know my inadequacies. You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but in every area of my life. I'm doing the best I can to raise my kids properly, but it may not be good enough. As You provided the fish and the loaves to feed the five thousand hungry people, now take my meager effort and use it to bless my family. Make up for the things I do wrong. Satisfy the needs that I have not met. Compensate for my blunders and mistakes. Wrap Your great arms around my children, and draw them close to You. And be there when they stand at the great crossroads between right and wrong. All I can give them is my best, and I will continue to do that. I submit them to You now and rededicate myself to the task You have placed before me. The outcome rests securely in Your hands."
I've found that God is faithful, as a loving Father, to hear and answer that cry of the heart. Turn to Him for solace when you've reached the end of your rope. He will be there to comfort you and work within the soul of your beloved child.
Adapted from The New Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James C. Dobson. Copyright © 2004, Tyndale House Pubishers. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
When parents bring one of these tough youngsters into the world, they need to recognize that while raising that child may be difficult for a time, it is worth their effort to do the job right. Their attitude should be, "The Lord gave me this challenging child for a purpose. He wants me to mold and shape this youngster and prepare him or her for a life of service to Him. And I'm up to the task. I'm going to make it with the Lord's help." That's the healthy way of looking at parenting when the pressure is on.
I am convinced that there is no other true source of confidence in parenting. There is not enough knowledge in the books, mine or anyone else's, to counteract the evil that surrounds our kids today. We must bathe them in fervent prayer when we are in our prayer closet, saying words similar to these:
"Lord, You know my inadequacies. You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but in every area of my life. I'm doing the best I can to raise my kids properly, but it may not be good enough. As You provided the fish and the loaves to feed the five thousand hungry people, now take my meager effort and use it to bless my family. Make up for the things I do wrong. Satisfy the needs that I have not met. Compensate for my blunders and mistakes. Wrap Your great arms around my children, and draw them close to You. And be there when they stand at the great crossroads between right and wrong. All I can give them is my best, and I will continue to do that. I submit them to You now and rededicate myself to the task You have placed before me. The outcome rests securely in Your hands."
I've found that God is faithful, as a loving Father, to hear and answer that cry of the heart. Turn to Him for solace when you've reached the end of your rope. He will be there to comfort you and work within the soul of your beloved child.
Adapted from The New Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James C. Dobson. Copyright © 2004, Tyndale House Pubishers. All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Fridays...
Most people LOVE Fridays. It means thier last day of work for the week and a lovely weekend ahead of them. Me...Friday means my last day off and I head into work just before midnight. I don't dread that it is Friday as it means that I get to enter a different stressful environment than being with my son and it gives me a break from him so that by the end of my shift I am ready to return to the trenches of parenting for anther week. :) Not that he is ALL bad...he is just very trying and testing these last couple of weeks. I know it is probably associated with the fact that Grandpa was in and out of the hospital and is still recovering and because he had to double check where he fits in the world now that J is around and that we have not spent much time in our own house due to the bathroom reno so his routine is all mixed up. My CO has returned to the kicking, hitting and screaming stage of life...oh joy! Some days I SO want to ship him to Dr. James Dobson. One particularly trying day I looked at him and wondered if we were having such a bad day because he is three...or because his biomom took something while pregnant and this is just him....the second option scared the crap out of me as I just don't know if I have the energy to always be battling with him over every single thing. He is already over 50lbs at 3...I can't imagine how hard it would be to lug him to his bedroom at 10 with him having a full blown temper tantrum! PLEASE Jesus let this be a phase!
ANYWAY back to Fridays...well every other Friday J is picked up by a CAS driver and taken for a 2 hour visit with some of his family. Since moving in with me, he has had three of these visits. Each time they have sent him home in a size 6 diaper (he wears a size 3 and there are a minimum of 3 sent each time in his diaper bag). Each of these visits he comes home so wired that he doesn't nap all day (which is odd as most days he is still napping twice). The last two visits we fought diarrhea for the rest of the day. I am not sure WHAT they are feeding him or if the visits are just stressful for him...but I dread Friday afternoons! Because I am usually fighting with a tired little boy trying to get him to sleep or am up to my elbows in soiled laundry. Yesterday they sent him home in a size 6 diaper ON BACKWARDS!!! let me tell you that a diaper that is three sizes too big and on backwards holds NOTHING in. There was a mess everywhere. I am SO frustrated with his family because I get so little accomplished after he visits them and J is SO 'off' the rest of the day.
The one good thing about the visits is that CO and I get to spend a few hours together just the two of us. We went to the library and the park today. It was nice. In the future I need to make sure I am really on the ball so that we are heading out or starting our fun time right away when J is picked up by the driver. Speaking of the driver...the one who brought J home this time put some of her iced tea in a sippy cup for him to drink on the drive home. ICED TEA!!! you know the beverage full of sugar and caffine...the perfect thing to feed a 16 month old!!! I pointed out that there was a bottle in the side pocket of his bag...so I dont' know if J's upset stomach today was from the ice tea, the visit or something else. I just hope that after a good night's sleep tonight he is feeling much better...I'd feel SO bad if he was sick at the respite's home.
ANYWAY back to Fridays...well every other Friday J is picked up by a CAS driver and taken for a 2 hour visit with some of his family. Since moving in with me, he has had three of these visits. Each time they have sent him home in a size 6 diaper (he wears a size 3 and there are a minimum of 3 sent each time in his diaper bag). Each of these visits he comes home so wired that he doesn't nap all day (which is odd as most days he is still napping twice). The last two visits we fought diarrhea for the rest of the day. I am not sure WHAT they are feeding him or if the visits are just stressful for him...but I dread Friday afternoons! Because I am usually fighting with a tired little boy trying to get him to sleep or am up to my elbows in soiled laundry. Yesterday they sent him home in a size 6 diaper ON BACKWARDS!!! let me tell you that a diaper that is three sizes too big and on backwards holds NOTHING in. There was a mess everywhere. I am SO frustrated with his family because I get so little accomplished after he visits them and J is SO 'off' the rest of the day.
The one good thing about the visits is that CO and I get to spend a few hours together just the two of us. We went to the library and the park today. It was nice. In the future I need to make sure I am really on the ball so that we are heading out or starting our fun time right away when J is picked up by the driver. Speaking of the driver...the one who brought J home this time put some of her iced tea in a sippy cup for him to drink on the drive home. ICED TEA!!! you know the beverage full of sugar and caffine...the perfect thing to feed a 16 month old!!! I pointed out that there was a bottle in the side pocket of his bag...so I dont' know if J's upset stomach today was from the ice tea, the visit or something else. I just hope that after a good night's sleep tonight he is feeling much better...I'd feel SO bad if he was sick at the respite's home.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
dead batteries...
These last few weeks have taken a toll on me and my batteries are drained! So much that I have NO patience for my head strong, curious, defiant 3 1/2 year old. My parents refused to take him this weekend so I fortunatly was able to send him to the same family that looks after J on weekends.
I think he is displaying jealousy towards J but at the same time he is always wanting J around to be with. If J is sleeping, he will wake him up. He doesn't understand that J needs more sleep (especially since J was under the weather this past week).
I am constantly talking with CO about making choices, consequences and how he needs to choose my way over his. It is SO trying! How do I get my almost 4 year old to desire to obey? Sometimes I fear that this is not a 'stage' but a result of possibly being exposed to some drug or alcohol while in utero...and I don't know if I have the energy to handle him being this way or worse for ever...being tired doesn't help with my feelings on this! Having a ray of hope that this is a 'stage' is what I SO desire.
Sometimes I wish Dr James Dobson offered a boot camp for parents and thier strong willed children!
I think he is displaying jealousy towards J but at the same time he is always wanting J around to be with. If J is sleeping, he will wake him up. He doesn't understand that J needs more sleep (especially since J was under the weather this past week).
I am constantly talking with CO about making choices, consequences and how he needs to choose my way over his. It is SO trying! How do I get my almost 4 year old to desire to obey? Sometimes I fear that this is not a 'stage' but a result of possibly being exposed to some drug or alcohol while in utero...and I don't know if I have the energy to handle him being this way or worse for ever...being tired doesn't help with my feelings on this! Having a ray of hope that this is a 'stage' is what I SO desire.
Sometimes I wish Dr James Dobson offered a boot camp for parents and thier strong willed children!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
CO and his wagon...
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
the case of the missing dish detergent aka bubbles of fun
CO got ahold of a bottle of dish soap that the Pathfinders forgot to put away this past weekend after thier camp. All these bubbles are just from the two boys going down the slide...they had SO much fun. When J would stand up the breeze would blow a giant bubble between his legs. I totally had to rinse them off after they got out...and I didn't even need to bath them.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
update
My Dad is home and doing SO much better! His recovery is still a long one but it is nice to see him SO SO SO much better than last week.
My laptop is dead. My new laptop. New this past fall. So I have to ship it away to be repaired. :( NO FUN. In the meantime I have some access to my mother's computer but it is amazing how much one can miss thier own computer..I just wish I had access to my one email account.
Someone brought us supper tonight...SO appreciated!
Now the challenge of 'hanging out' at my parent's house during the day while my bathroom is being renovated and keeping the boys 'quiet' and 'well behaved' so that they don't disturb my father or destroy my mother's house.
My laptop is dead. My new laptop. New this past fall. So I have to ship it away to be repaired. :( NO FUN. In the meantime I have some access to my mother's computer but it is amazing how much one can miss thier own computer..I just wish I had access to my one email account.
Someone brought us supper tonight...SO appreciated!
Now the challenge of 'hanging out' at my parent's house during the day while my bathroom is being renovated and keeping the boys 'quiet' and 'well behaved' so that they don't disturb my father or destroy my mother's house.
Monday, June 6, 2011
help...
Do you know of someone or have you used 'Come Sit By Me' curriculum by Cyndy Regeling
it is supposed to be similar to FIAR but instead it uses all Canadian literature. I am interested in learning more about it but I am having troubles finding more information on it and any reviews from families who have used it.
it is supposed to be similar to FIAR but instead it uses all Canadian literature. I am interested in learning more about it but I am having troubles finding more information on it and any reviews from families who have used it.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
crazy weekend..
It was a LONG weekend for me...Thursday some of my Pathfinders camped out because our annual camp was on the weekend and they were in charge. Most of Thursday was dedicated to last minute preparations (as well as spending some good time with my 'boys' before the weekend as I knew that it would be a crazy busy weekend with an expected 41 people camping out in the backyard)
Friday morning J went to his supervised visit with his grandparents. He once again did not nap the rest of the day and was a miserable grump that wanted to be carried all afternoon and evening. Not an easy feat when you are setting up and starting a camp. I went to bed that night wondering why my left hip was aching so much and then I remembered that I was holding J for so many hours :)
Saturday late morning we were greeted by a thunder storm and had to quickly decide on a plan B of activities which ended up bringing everyone into my sunroom to work on crafts. It was a tight fit expecially with a dog crate, two sets of bookshelves, my bathroom vanity and a train table. But we waited out the storm and within a few hours the weather had turned nice again and we were able to send everyone back outside to resume the camp activities.
Sunday morning my mother quickly arrived home from the trailer to drop off my sister and take my father to emerg. It seems he deteriorated VERY quickly over the weekend and was to the point that he couldn't hold a conversation or even walk. They did a CT scan on him and decided that he was bleeding on the brain again and was going to need some intervention medically. He was transfered to Hamilton General where they drilled into his head and put in a drain. He came out of surgery SO MUCH BETTER! He is in less pain and has gained back his long term memory. He can't remember anything from the past week and they are hoping that he will be fully recovered in the next few days. His headache still will exist but it won't be as painful as it has been this past week.
Mom is home.
My brother is at the hospital with my dad.
The campers have all gone home.
And there is only a few hints of camp left for me to deal with (the biggest being a trailer of craft supplies that need sorting but that is no rush).
Overall camp was a success and I am glad my father is on the mend. Fortuantely this intervention should help his recovery go much quicker...though he still has a long road ahead of him.
Me, I am happy that camp in my backyard only happens once a year!
Friday morning J went to his supervised visit with his grandparents. He once again did not nap the rest of the day and was a miserable grump that wanted to be carried all afternoon and evening. Not an easy feat when you are setting up and starting a camp. I went to bed that night wondering why my left hip was aching so much and then I remembered that I was holding J for so many hours :)
Saturday late morning we were greeted by a thunder storm and had to quickly decide on a plan B of activities which ended up bringing everyone into my sunroom to work on crafts. It was a tight fit expecially with a dog crate, two sets of bookshelves, my bathroom vanity and a train table. But we waited out the storm and within a few hours the weather had turned nice again and we were able to send everyone back outside to resume the camp activities.
Sunday morning my mother quickly arrived home from the trailer to drop off my sister and take my father to emerg. It seems he deteriorated VERY quickly over the weekend and was to the point that he couldn't hold a conversation or even walk. They did a CT scan on him and decided that he was bleeding on the brain again and was going to need some intervention medically. He was transfered to Hamilton General where they drilled into his head and put in a drain. He came out of surgery SO MUCH BETTER! He is in less pain and has gained back his long term memory. He can't remember anything from the past week and they are hoping that he will be fully recovered in the next few days. His headache still will exist but it won't be as painful as it has been this past week.
Mom is home.
My brother is at the hospital with my dad.
The campers have all gone home.
And there is only a few hints of camp left for me to deal with (the biggest being a trailer of craft supplies that need sorting but that is no rush).
Overall camp was a success and I am glad my father is on the mend. Fortuantely this intervention should help his recovery go much quicker...though he still has a long road ahead of him.
Me, I am happy that camp in my backyard only happens once a year!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
today is the day!!!
This morning my father is being released from the hospital. It is a long drive home. Please pray for him as both motion and light make him feel worse...nothing like a long car ride after a brain injury!
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