books of 2011

Leaving ~ Karen Kingsbury

Anne of Green Gables ~ L.M. Montgomery
Fragile X Fragile Hope ~ Elizabeth Griffin
The Well Trained Mind (I&IV) ~ Susan Bauer
Let Darkness Come ~ Angela Hunt
Secret Daughter ~ Shilpi Somaya Gowda
The Catcher In The Rye ~ J.D.Salinger
The Mountain Between Us ~ Charles Martin
A Lion Called Christian ~ Anthony Bourke

(i need to find the rest of my 2011 list)

struggle with stuff

I struggle with stuff. I try to keep things simple. I try to get rid of excess (something I could do more of). For Christmas I decided to once again keep things simple. One present from Santa & one present from myself.  The boys each selected a present for each other and then they got one from my parents, one from C's grandparents and one from my brother's family. That is still TOO much but it was good. I rearranged toys and will sort things in the new year to get rid of a thing or two more that they don't play with or need.
J came home from a visit today. He came home with a full black garbage bag of 'stuff'. The driver that dropped him off said that there was even more that was left behind as there wasn't room in her car. I went through the bag and made a list of everything that was in it. Not much was appropriate for an almost 2 year old. I kept out two toys that he'd like and the clothes that would fit him (or he'd grow into in the next few months). Everything else was put back in the garbage bag and put into the basement. On top of that they sent $100 worth of gift cards. His birthday is the end of January. I can't imagine what he'll come home with then. I know that not everyone believes that kids don't need too much stuff. I am trying hard to keep it so that the boys do not have more toys than they can personally clean up themselves. But I want my sons to know who bought them what. I want them to treasure what they have and appreciate it. I want them to be sad when something is lost or broken so they will learn to take care of what they have.
Next week we are visiting family and after that...comes the BIG SPRING CLEAN-UP. I am going to go through every room, closet, drawer and cupboard and downsize and pass along things that we don't need or use. It is amazing how 'stuff' has taken over people's lives. Our great grandparents, they had less than a handful of toys and clothes...and they were happy and content.
I will document my purge so that I am accountable and get it all done. I am bad for starting these kinds of things and not finishing them.

twas the night before Christmas...

I worked this weekend. My family is celebrating Christmas 24 hours later than everyone else. Right now it is Christmas eve for us. I am in bed before midnight. I can't believe it. I have not been in bed before midnight on Christmas eve for a VERY long time. I did things last week like prestuff the stockings so that has probably helped. Usually I am making Cinnamon buns 25th night and not Christmas eve but even with that added to my load, I am ready. I even assembled the kids gifts from Santa so I don't have to do it tomorrow :)
CO is very excited that Santa is coming and I had to give him my iP*od with a audio book to finally refocus his brain and allow him to fall asleep. Last year he was up at 430. I am hoping that he stays in bed atleast until 6am in the morning.
The boys are tucked into bed in thier new matching Christmas pjs. I have the camera on the couch and ready to go...night one and all

bring it on!

I went to Wal*mart this evening after putting the kids to bed. Seriously I have SO struggled with shopping with the kids lately. Last friday I went with just CO as J was on a visit and the first store went well, the second was a disaster (I was that mother walking out of the store leaving her cart behind with a screaming child in tow) and the third went ok, the fourth was borderline to being a deja view of the second store.
The boys do great at the grocery store. We can do walm*art...but not this close to Christmas as easily. i think it is over stimulating for CO with all the Christmas stuff and overall I just don't take them to stores enough I guess...because I hate shopping. But this evening...it was a dream...the store was peaceful, no children, not too many people. I got everything I was wanting and am officially ready for the holiday!!
So, bring on the snow!!! that is what I want...a white Christmas. I have all my shopping done (I picked up the last of the stocking stuffers this evening). The only thing I didn't get was diapers for J. It seems Walm*art was out of size 4 :) how crazy is that?!?!?

CO and I finished his presents this evening. All that he has left to do is wrapping. I got 90% if my wrapping done and I have the 6 stockings mostly packed (no we don't put out empty stockings the night before). So I am ready for Christmas!!

BRING IT ON!

tough morning...

CO had a tough morning. He gave into temptation to make lots of not so good decisions. He got to spend the last bit of the morning playing in his room.  It is days like this that I think that he probably was exposed to something prenatally and I have an extra long road to travel to help him develop skills to be less impulsive and to think before he acts. It is a HUGE issue that he needs to work on. And I too need to work on not reacting in anger as that makes it worse.  His charts filled up very quickly this morning.
I long for snow. I really do. If we had snow it would mean we were spending more time outside playing and using this crazy energy for good. Instead we have MUD. yucky messy mud.
I think our bodies are healing. Not only are we taking our meds...but are using home remedies I googled online. There is nothing stranger than falling asleep smelling the onion on your bedside table and having the taste of lemon, salt and pepper on your tongue. :)

On another positive note... this morning I was having J use the potty when I heard the dog crying. I took J off the potty and he followed me to CO's bedroom. I shut J out. I dealt with the cause of the dog's crying and the with CO for the choices he made to cause the dog to be in such pain. Overall J was loose in my house a good 15 minutes while I was dealing with CO, and he was diaperless. I come out and J is all excited saying 'poop' and running towards the bathroom. There in the potty...was just what  he was saying!!! YEAH!! that is crazy. He has NEVER done that before. I made sure I made a BIG deal of it and gave him a little treat to make sure he knew it was a wonderful thing to do...so ONE more less diaper for me this week!!! That is 3 dirty diapers that I have not had to deal with this week so far!! and it is only thursday. I almost typed Wednesday because it feels like Wednesday to me...I lost Monday as we spent the majority of the day at the walk-in clinic and then the pharmacy. sigh
because I missed a day and was off, I missed garbage day. But there is always next week! :)
my house is in major need of help...and I only have tomorrow left to accomplish it before Christmas...ug...I need another day!!! I am working this weekend (I will not work Christmas again until December 2016!!!) and then we celebrate Christmas on Monday and then that night my aunt is coming up from Ottawa!! YEAH!! I have Morgain for two weeks!!! and I am hoping that between Christmas and New Year's that with my aunt's help we can do a gingerbread house. (when we were little she used to do one yearly with us) and I have tried to do one yearly with Morgain (when she isn't in BC). Two years ago we did a miniature village (she loved it). CO was only 2 so we did it while he was sleeping. Last year I did one with CO. If I was a good blogger I would add photos of all the houses, but my photos are all on an external hard rive in my laptop bag in the room that J is napping in and I have no desire to stir a sleeping baby because I am enjoying the peace too much right now. So no photos sorry.

christmas is around the corner...

Christmas is around the corner and I've been coughing for a month. CO has been coughing for 3 weeks. Cough medicine just wasn't doing it so we headed into the clinic this morning. After 4 hours, we we sent home for RX puffers. For the life of me...I can't get CO to inhale deeply. It took a long time for me to stop him from blowing into it. the doctor said that if we are still coughing next week to come back in again. I was thinking that coughing for the amount of time that I had was need for serious drugs...but no such luck. I struggle with the puffer as I have a coughing fit as soon as I breathe it in. CO 4 years 3 months and this is his first RX  (that I know of)...I am not sure the puffers are going to do the trick but right now the only thing I want for Christmas is to stop coughing. My chest muscles hurt from the amount of coughing I've done.
I have tried to use the energy I have the last couple of weeks to do 'Christmas' stuff with the boys. But it is hard when all I want to do is to crawl back into bed.
Hopefully the puffers do thier trick and I can finish up the gifts for the neighbours with CO as well as his gifts for my inlaws.
J on the other hand is doing great. Especially if his days include anything 'hockey'

please pray for our health here
also that I get some solutions for some of CO's behaviours these days

little hockey freak...

J is a hockey FREAK! He LOVES hockey. He LOVES all thing hockey related. He has been known to have a temper tantrum for hours over hockey related items. This is how he is seen most days. He wears the helmet backwards otherwise it falls off and the things on his hands...booties from a snowsuit that he declared his hockey mittens one day last week.

my worker man

my dear CO spends most of his days as a worker man. When he isn't working, he is telling me about his adventures as a worker man. My niece bought him this outfit for his birthday. He LOVES it. He fixes all the non broken things in the house. He talks about all the heavy equipment he will own one day. He takes apart things that cause me to have to reassemble such things next time he is asleep. It is amazing what a little boy can do with 'fake' tools.
I love my worker man in spite of his fixing obsession

Santa visit 2011

mom and I took the boys to sit on Santa's lap. I did seperate photos so I could send J's to his bio family on his next visit. I am happy with both photos other than the fact I am not sure what is up with Santa and his hand placement for photos! :) I guess he was holding CO and J from falling off??? Neither boy had any issue with going up to Santa and talking to him or sitting on his lap. CO had a quick moment of panic but I reminded him that this was his chance as we didn't know when Santa would be around again (this is thier first time at that mall so have no real clue that Santa is there from the end of November until Christmas). The lady taking the photo...tres annoying!!! but overall, the trip was a success. We rode elevators, escalators and got presents for my niece.  We ate at the food court (J saying 'hi' to everyone who walked by in the food court), and at the end of our time in the mall we discovered that you can rent two seater firetruck carts for $7...I think it is totally worth it and will probably take that route next time (though I have lived here for about 8 years and have only been to the mall maybe 3 times) so instead we let the boys sit in the cart and they happily pretended to be driving the firetruck for free.

not a good blogger

I don't seem to be a very good blogger these days. I read many other people's blogs and am sad when they don't update regularly...I know...
I would like to say that not much is new. But there has to be something.
CO looks forward to snow and winter so much. This morning it snowed a bit and the boys spent almost an hour playing with shovels on the deck before the snow all melted away. CO is EAGER to build a snowman.
J is blooming SO much. His language skills are growing at a crazy fast rate. He has a little temper and hates it when he is told 'no'. Today he got a time-out in his crib as he took a tube of cream from my bedside table (I was in my closet looking for something) and he took it to the bathroom and then proceeded to squeeze it and smear the cream around. Because he took the cream to the other end of the house and hid behind the bathroom door, I knew he knew that it was something he shouldn't do. I told him 'no thanks for the mess' and put him in his crib. A minute and a half later I went to take him out of his crib, he was not there. Or in his room at all. Seems his brother found him crying and took him out of his bed...what a helpful brother :(
I am in a de-clutter mode these days. I am tired of the piles. I am hoping to clear out all the 'extra' stuff out of the livingroom/diningroom/schoolroom/kitchen by the end of next week (and this means every shelf, cupboard, etc.) before the Christmas tree comes. We are going to be later in getting it this year as we always go with out pastor and his family. The pastor is on a mission trip for a week with his third eldest daughter so we are waiting until they return. CO tells everyone these days that we are going to get our Christmas tree once Pastor Peter comes home. :)
We started an advent book this year. It is called Jotham's Journey. CO is paying attention to it after supper each evening quite well. My father on the other hand, he commented that the reading this evening was on the long side :) I am hoping to get thing ready for some Christmas decorations this week so I can unpack things like the advent candles.
I took out Ernest the bear for CO today. I bought Ernest when I was living and working in Stratford (right after highschool). He LOVED it. As did J. I tied one end to a door knob and CO practiced getting Ernest to go back and forth on the rope without falling.
J...well court happened the middle of November and the judge asked for more paperwork from CAS. Next court date is the beginning of March. This week a lawyer called. She will be J's lawyer and she is coming to meet him the week before Christmas. I didn't realize that things had progressed enough for him to get a lawyer yet as the judge has still to declare things are going to trial. This is going to be a LONG process. I kinda had my heart set on a MAT leave next summer (even though I know that this isn't a guarantee) but the likelihood of having next summer off are nil.
CO is loving cubbies. He sings their theme song throughout his day. Tonight he actually participated in all the singing. Usually he just sits and sometimes sings a bit but tonight he did all the actions to the songs they sang and during the cubbies song he hopped and jumped with the rest of them.
Me I am itching to craft these days. CO and I have been working on Christmas presents and it is SO nice to get into creating mode. (though I guess I am not creating because according to one of the first hugs in the cubbies book, creating is making something from nothing and I am making crafts out of craft supplies)
I look back at my 2011 goals and I have NOT been reading as much as I had hoped. I am tempted to just add to the 2011 goals and declare them to be 2012 goals.
That is all for tonight. I should have been asleep hours ago but I got side tracked scanning photos that belonged to my grandmother. My goal is to scan them all and then save them to USB for each of my dad's siblings. I am also scanning documents and stuff that she kept in a tin. Included in that are telegrams that she received from my grandfather while he was serving overseas in the war (they were engaged but not married at the time).

fortunately/ unfortunately

fortunately I started a new behaviour program for CO this week that makes me a non-yelling, spanking mother.

unfortunately CO is not liking this new program and he on the other hand is a wailing & crying 4 year old that tends to scream very loud while on his timeouts

fortunately I think we are making progress

unfortunately day 2 I became sick and have next to know energy to deal with every stinking thing

fortunately i am not a neat freak other wise my house would be making me go insane

unfortunately my mother is in a 'mood' and she is being nice and critical these day

fortunately I am too sick to care

unfortunately I hate being stuck somewhere between fall and winter...there is nothing for the boys to do outside as the toys are packed away in anticipation of snow

unfortunately CO has been taking liberty to dig in places he shouldn't be while taking advantage of Mommy's fatigue

fortunately I cleaned up most of his digging adventures from today (though there is a trace of mud on the door still)

fortunately I got all the laundry folded and sorted this evening so it is set to put away and into suitcases for the weekend

fortunately I got a bag of hand-me-downs for CO from a coworker and I am BLESSED at the amount of people that think of me for clothes for him...and they were nice and colourful ones...sometimes I get all monotone ones...

I am too tired to think of more

I am feeling still crappy and I have to work this weekend...

have a great weekend everyone

101 % and the beauty of mathematics...

cutting back

So, cutting back...seems I give into temptation on weekends at work and watch a bunch of shows online.

I had a GREAT weekend last weekend. I didn't work. My inlaws were up. My mom had 'thanksgiving' with her side fo the family. It was my birthday.
I got to spend my birthday with people I love and who love me. It was great. I got to have a morning shower in complete peace (a rare event being a single mom) and I got to check out the antique market in Water*ford with my mil, aunt and uncle. I bought a few thing (spent hardly anything) but was able to just browse and look around without children (another rare event being a single mom).

Homeschooling is going GREAT! I love being able to be a part of this in my son's life. Most of his learning is taking place through books and games. Such fun! It was so awesome to watch him 'get' the fact the numbers this past week. To understand and be able to identify them. We had such fun one evening playing lots of games around math. I want my son to grow up to LOVE to learn and so far...he does!.

J also has blossomed this past couple of months. I was keeping track of J's words in the last couple of weeks. He has over a 70 word vocabulary. Which is great as in the summer he probably only had a 10+ word vocabulary. He is 'getting' that animals are not all called puppy. Which is great as I was getting tired of everything being declared a 'puppy' very enthusiastically while we were driving past farms.

This past week was court for J. Seems the judge wants more papers and he adjourned things until March. So I will have J atleast until then. Probably a lot longer as his case will probably go to trial and that will drag on.
Please continue to pray for childcare for me. It is something that still hasn't been 100% figured out and it really needs to soon! like months ago.

filling up when empty

I have found a lovely bible study group that I have joined. One of the BIG things that attracted me to it was that they run a kids program at the same time as the lady's Bible study. (vs just babysitting the kids and letting them play while feeding them goldfish crackers)
The book we are studying is




it is a very challenging book. I have been able to only attend a few of the sessions due to dr. app'ts etc. But I am really enjoying it. I am tempted to ask to borrow the dvds after the study is done so I can review them again on my own. One of the BIG things that God is showing me is how I am filling myself up when empty. Being a single person and now a single mother I have gotten into very bad habits such as turning on the tv when I am tired or just needing a 'me' moment. The study talks about how this is filling myself up with the world when I am low rather than filling myself up with God. Living in the small space that I do, the boys can hear me from their bedroom when I am cleaning up around the house, so I tend to sneak to the basement and lay on the couch and watch tv. Not that what I am watching is necessarily that bad (some of it really isn't that great) but still, I should be using my quiet moments to reflect on him. If I look at the challenges I set for myself for this year, I have accomplished very little of them. And I can blame it on the fact that the boys suck up SO much of my time, but in all honesty, the tv does too. So I am choosing to develop better habits. To turn first to God when I am low and tired and needing to be filled up, rather than the world. Step 1 in all of that is to erase my PVR (I kept a couple of family friendly movies for when I have company...which CO's grandparents are coming next month) and I have deleted 95% of my timers. I have kept 4 shows (Heart*land, 19 Kids* and Count*ing, Pare*nthood and Fri*nge). The plan is to not watch any of them for the next few months unless I am downstairs working on some sewing projects for Christmas. I have been teetering on this decision and putting it off. I KNOW this is what God is asking of me....He has shown me this week by: having the hydro go out for no reason one evening for 4 hours missing 3 PVR timers, put the PVR on the blitz another night, and having me fall asleep every time I tried to watch online tv. IS God talking to me or what??!!??
I am also going to go back to reading before bed rather than watching online tv. Read Christian biographies and parenting type books. I have a stack calling my name. There are some that I NEED to read as I am looking into alternate parenting ideas on how to deal with CO. As time progresses I suspect more and more that he had some prenatal exposure to something or has some missing links in his genes.
Since deleting my PVR timers, we have gone back to being more consistent with JK homeschooling, my house is cleaner (still need to work on that more) and I have spent MORE time with my kids doing fun and making memories.
I also want to invest in some speakers for my ip*od so I can listen to worship music when cooking, cleaning, playing, etc.
I have slid some and have used nap time to watch tv online...but hey I am far from perfect and I know it.
I just need to really remember that God wants all of me...He wants to spend quiet time together...
 
please pray for me during this new chapter I am starting on...

180 movie

CO's 4th birthday...

CO is ALL about forklifts this year. So for his birthday celebration we had a campfire. I asked the neighbour if we could borrow his forklift and the kids had great fun climbing on it.
I made CO his birthday shirt and I copied the design for his cake.

autumn fun

CO looked out the window today and exclaimed 'it is snowing leaves!'. I took the boys out and helped make a pile with some of the leaves. LOTS of fun

tradition...

I am ALL about tradition! Before I got my position working weekends our family had pancakes for breakfast EVERY Sunday. (my sister has since decided that she doesn't like pancakes anymore and my parents stopped the tradition as she had a sunday morning breakfast starvation protest going on)

this man has a 'pancake tradition' with his daughter to a whole new level...check it out

fall fair

I took the boys to the fall fair. J LOVED the animals...CO basically did what we do at home. He climbed on machines and found a corn (at home it is gravel) box and played with small machines.

in the evening I took CO to the moster truck show...a big hit...would have been a more successful trip with ear protection though.                                                                                                                                

a study group...

It has been over a year since my church canceled thier 'moms & tots' group. I have missed the fellowship greatly. My friend Sarah said that she belongs to a group about an hour away from where I live, about 30 minutes from her, that she loves because they also do biblical teaching for the children at the same time. But she was having troubles finding a group that was closer to where she lived. So that got me thinking that I really needed to find something. And the idea of a place that did more than just 'entertain' the kids and feed them juice and cookies seemed like an ideal element. So I finally found something about 30 minutes from me. I checked it out with the boys today and they seemed to really enjoy it. AND I think there are quite a few homeschool families as there were three classes for the kids (nursery, preschool & school). Exciting that it will also be a link to other homschool families.
They are studying a book titled 'What Happens When Women Say Yes to God'. I am missing next week as J has a post-op appoitment but after that...we'll be there!

now to find a sitter for CO for the post-op appointment...maybe I'll drag him along...

another toilet user in the house...

J is 20 months old now....and he is a toilet user :) I just feel that exposing kids to using the toilet early helps them to make the whole process natural rather than a battle of the wills (personal opinion) After lunch today I put J on the toilet (I do with each diaper change) and he urinated and had a bowel movement...I was SO excited as this is the first time he has had a bowel movement on the toilet. Yipee one less poopy diaper for me to change :)
after J's surgery (after I removed his catheter) he became very aware of when he urinated because honestly it caused him pain. When I noticed him showing the signs of pain, I'd tell him to push out his pee and he would (crying a bit while doing it) and then he would be happier. So that has probably helped with this whole process. I started a couple of months ago with just putting him on while the bathtub was filling (sound of running water usually made him pee on my bathroom floor so I figured I might as well sit him on the potty to save me from mopping up a puddle). I would say that 80% of the time I sit him on the toilet, he pees.
This isn't the ideal season for toilet training but I am game for him to be a toilet user...

**updated*** Tuesday morning at breakfast he started being gassy (he usually has a BM in the mornings) so I put him on the toilet and jackpot....another dirty diaper avoided!

Ordinary Heroes in the Mennonite Church

sad

I was reading the news...and came across this article...

how sad...why bother even going through the process at all if you aren't going into it with commitment in mind??

autumn outdoor swim

it seems that the end of September was a warm enough weather for CO to be swimming outside. I finally got around to uploading photos from my ipod and camera and it seems that CO swam outdoors whenever possible.

here he is swimming in his grandparent's house. Notice the leaves floating in the water :)  (I am going to have to try a photo rather than a video as it is taking blogger an extrememly LONG time to upload the video)

The pool was about 64 degrees and he swam in it almost every day that we were there. Usually for atleast an hour. Fortunately they have a hottub and he'd go it for a quick (less than 1 minute) plunge to warm up once he was all done. I wouldn't let him stay in the hottub any length of time as last time we were down I found that he got ill when spending time in the hottub. J was keen for the waterslide. He only went down once and that was enough for him. He spent the rest of the times in the backyard happily playing around the pool, with his lifejacket on. CO TRIED his hardest to convince J to go in the pool but he would have NO part in it. One cold plunge was enough for him.

 

The thing with CO's adoption is that it is an open one. Which I love his other family. His grandparents are amazing and he has a special bond with his aunt. I try to go out of my way to make sure he gets to spend some time on our visiting with his great grandmother and his cousins. I DO struggle with him spending time with his BM. This past visit it seemed her goal was to become his favourite 'aunt'. I so struggled inwardly with CO spending time with her 1:1. I feel fine when we are in a group and she is along, but it seems I find it really hard to send him off with her on an adventure without another member of her family. When he is grown, I don't want him to blame me for keeping her from him, but at the same time I have a hard time seeing where exactly the line should be drawn...especially now that she has a half brother through her that she is currently raising. I guess I need to talk to her, for she just communicates with her mother and then plans got made and I felt that I didn't really have control over it because I already had plans to attend a family event. I think her parents go out of their way to keep the communication away from me to protect me from if or when she ends up in a 'bad' place again.

Please pray for discernment in this for me.

We had a lovely time away and I got many of the 'things' done that I was wanting to. I was also able to take the boys to the Childrens' Museum in Hull. Next time we are in the area I totally want to take the boys again. Port of Entry was CO's favorite part and he spent a majority of his time there. CO's grandmother joined us which worked out well as J was wanting more to check out everything and once CO discovered the crane on the ship, he wanted to stay. We kept trading off when ever the two boys paths crossed.

a first...

I just tucked my four year old into bed for the night...

My baby is four!! hard to believe. It was a crazy busy day that had the boys at the babysitter's for most of the day as I had a staff meeting from 9-2...but overall it was a success...he got homemade pizza (he didn't want it to come from a restaurant in a box...he wanted the kind that goes in the oven) and an icecream cake (because baking one just didn't happen with my crazy week) with a bulldozer on it (as they didn't have a forklift). As he was getting his pjs on he said he wants to wear his birthday shirt again tomorrow...

hopefully I'll upload photos soon

J

J is recovering today from his urethrop*lasty (I put the * in to prevent people from coming to my blog from googling the surgery). It was a LONG day at the hospital yesterday. Today seems like it is going to be a long one too. He is complaining of pain/discomfort occasionally (he didn't get any medication between midnight at 6am so it may take us part of the day to get ahead of the pain). But overall he is happy and playing well.
Some people complain that they would never circu*mcise thier son because of the trauma...well this surgery is WAY more evasive and painful. But I don't think that it will have any long term damage to J psychologically. Not having the surgery would have negatively effected him as an adult male So we might as well get it done now, rather than as an adult or teenager.
We are on our way to our nation's capital next week. We are going to celebrate CO turing 4 with the family we have there as well as I have a cousin getting married on the weekend. I am SO looking forward to going. I have arranged for someone to paint my livingroom, kitchen & two bedrooms while we are away. The boy's bedroom is still pink (oops). The only downside...is that J just had surgery and he has a catheter in, which isn't to be removed until the middle of next week...solution...take it out myself :) the doctor showed me how.  CO's aunt is a nurse, so if I have any questions or reason to hesitate, I can get her help (we'll be staying with her while away).
Having J's surgery last minute this week, has thrown my packing off as well as my prep for CO's fourth birthday tomorrow and his party on Sunday.
He is having a campfire party! He invited some of the neighbours as well as a couple of boys he knows through storytime at the library. There are also a couple of kids coming from church and I have invited some friends with young kids. It should be a simple affair. I once again asked for NO gifts. This year we are collecting non-perishables for the foodbank.  I am glad I started from the begining to just have his birthday be a time of having friends over and playing rather than a focus of gifts. He gets presents from me, my parents and his other grandparents. That is enough in my world. Also I am actively trying to achieve the goal I set when I first became a mom and that is never to have more toys that my children can clean up all by themselves. I think it is also helping them to appreciate what they have and look after it. When one of CO's toys breaks, he cries (because he cares and treasures the few toys he does have).

I suck

I am a terrible source of comfort in the middle of the night. I am tempted just to let him come into my bed but then he wants to be in my bed every night and it becomes a constant battle for weeks. CO is currently awake. He went pee, I got him a drink, I turned on a light, opened more windows, moved his fan to the window to cool his room down more, I even sat on his bed for a short time. Now I am tired and he doesn't want to stay in bed, is irrational because he is tired. I am wide awake, tired and grumpy so I start threatening a spanking if he doesn't Quit hollering and quiet down...
Any parenting tips or words of wisdom?

Hebrews 13:17

Obey your leaders (because) they keep watch over you. Hebrews 13:17

That is our verse for the week. Actually it was our verse last week too but since we were at the beach last week, I figured it couldn't hurt to keep the same verse for a couple of weeks.

I love that my son LOVES to learn. He enjoys our 'school' time. His least favorite activity is his handwriting sheets but I have added them to his curriculum so I am not pushing them right now. If he chooses to do them...he will.

We don't actually follow a structure to our days right now. School just gets 'fit' into our days. With J sometimes needing a morning nap, we will fit school time in then, and other days we are busy running around or exploring outside that school happens as a down time before bed. I am sure once we progress in our homeschool adventures, we will have to add more stucture to it.

I am also going to join a bible study group on Tuesday mornings. I like that it not only is a time of fellowship and learning for me, but the children's program is more than just a time to be 'babysat'. There is also an educational program for the kids. Also I am wanting to put CO into Awana this year.  I am taking a year break from being a leader in Girl Guides as last year just didn't work with me shuffling the boys, dragging them along when I didn't have a sitter, etc. Guiding has changed a lot in the last couple of years and my heart is less into. I still LOVE being a leader and the program, I am just needing a break. We'll see what next year brings as CO will be old enough to be a 'Beaver' (mini-boyscout) and his program would be the same night as Girl Guides in our local town.

I am on the fence with the whole gymnastics thing. It would be good for him but I am not sure how many events away from home I want to schedule in our days each week. But it is also be good for him to do this as a 'big' thing on his own without J, but it is also a lot of $. I need to decide as I think I need to sign him up tomorrow night.

The doctors office called and have booked J's surgery for this Wednesday morning. So please pray at 8am for the surgeons as they preform the surgery as well as for my father who has agreed to watch CO for the pre-op appointment tomorrow afternoon and the morning of the surgery.

a week at the beach

we returned from a week at the beach

we took the trailer

we traveled at night

the weather was supposed to be unpleasant

we were blessed with amazing days that got better the longer we stayed

we've decided to make it an annual tradition to camp there the first week of September



the boys loved the beach. We spent LOTS of our day there. The last day we arrived at the beach around 930 and didn't head up the hill to the trailer until around 3. It was a great location...the beach was a short walk, but we ended up driving the truck down as there was much 'stuff' carted along for digging and playing.

as we pulled out in the dark of night CO piped up that he wished he lived there so he could ALWAYS be at the beach :)

brothers and parks

these two LOVE the park

what kid doesn't?

our newest adventure...

dressing the same

CO refers to these as his farmer pants

he LOVES it when he can co-ordinate his outfit to match J's

I had to share this last photo of CO and his 'nockers'

they help him see better :)

(binoculars)

adventures in feeding J (part 2)

I would have to say I am definitely happy with the progress J is making with his eating. Today he ate three meals plus snacks all containing foods he would have refused to let near his mouth let alone into his mouth when I first got him. He usually doesn't fuss until the end of the meal. I am trying not to push him TOO much so as to not make eating a TERRIBLE experience.  For breakfast he ate cut up peaches with blueberries and a bowl of oatmeal. For lunch he ate homemade chicken vegetable soup and cherry tomatoes and supper was spinach & cheese pizza and a no-rice curry salad (it is a recipe for curry rice salad of my mother's but I substituted quinoa for the rice...it has green peas and cut up celery in it). I knew the celery would be an issue for him in the salad but he ate the few tablespoons that I served him. Not overly happily but when I told him to open his mouth, he did. He needs lots of liquid to eat meals. I am not sure why but he seems to chew and chew and suck out the moisture of what he is eating and then he has troubles swallowing what is left in his mouth. He pretty much now likes all food that is round like a ball (and that is what he calls it). He LOVES to eat peaches and plums whole (which is great because that is what is in season). He really likes corn on the cob and does a fairly good job at eating his 1/3 cob that is given to him. So because his eating is so much better, I have started to allow him some treats that the rest of us are eating. For example ice cream for dessert. He is up to 25 1/2 lbs which is great. In July he didn't eat much and his appetite wasn't the greatest but we were at the cottage for most of it and it was fairly hot, and I think he had a stomach bug for a week or so as well. So up 5 1/2 lbs from the middle of may (so just over three months) I am happy. His muscle tone and overall appearance is better with his increased varieties of food. I still try to feed him at least one avocado a week (I usually just fork mash it and then add some applesauce) as this is a great fat for him and I want him healthy and strong for when he has his surgery.
His vocabulary is also increasing. He says 15 + words which is great (probably more if I listened carefully). He is very active and is constantly getting bumps and bruises as he tries to keep up with his big brother.
His big brother is going to be 4 in a few weeks. That just blows me away. Being 3 was a BIG year for him. He learned to swim (he can swim but needs to improve his skills a bit more), to ride a two wheeler (no training wheels), he became a big brother, he went on a couple of big train trips, he moved to a single bed (from a toddler bed), he grew his own vegetable garden (of which he is very proud...needs to work on his dedication to water more often...but I was impressed how much he actually grew considering how much he over hoed and tilled his soil post transplanting and seeding), he can climb a tree, he learned his letter sounds and how to count...there is more but I just can't think of it off the top of my head.

homeschooling...

I received CO's JK curriculum in the mail at the beginning of May and we jumped right in for a couple of weeks and then J came into our lives and I put schooling on the back burner (other than science as his science text book is wonderful and he loves it so much we had to take it to get rebound as it has fallen apart). This past week we started up again and it has gone good. Our verse for the week: Pay attention, my child to what I say. Listen carefully. Proverbs 4: 20. A verse he really struggles with. These past couple of weeks his obedience has been a BIG struggle for him and we've been doing a lot of head banging. It has been a full battle of the wills and we both are pretty head strong. This is one of the reasons that I have started school a few weeks early. I think he needs the extra 1:1 time with just the two of us with J otherwise occupied (usually sleeping). I am dealing with LOTS of sibling rivalry between the two of them . Also it has us back to having our weekly memory verses. I am also doing morning devotions during breakfast with the two of them. Now if I can only get my own butt in gear to get more regular with my own daily devotions...

our week

we had a great week in Orangeville! It went by too quickly and this is the first time that I've been away with the boys that CO isn't begging to go home at least 24 hours before I was planning to actually head home. Taking the trailer I think helped everyone stay rested which probably helped as usually  he is overtired and just wanting to go home to his puppy. CO was asking me many times on the drive home to turn around and go back.

Annette and I took the kids to the trails behind my old house with all our bicycles. It was WONDERFUL! I wish those trails had been there when I lived there. I would have been out on them daily! Here is CO riding his two wheeler (no training wheels) along the wooden part of the path. He has an empty water bottle shoved into his back tire (it makes a buzzing/humming noise when he rides) and I was always able to hear him even if he was up ahead a bit out of sight. My dad put the baby carrier on my bicycle so I was able to have J on the back.

(here is CO taking a break along the water..yes I know his helmet needs to go down more on his head...he keeps pushing it back so I guess I need to do some strap tightening)

On the last day I loaded up the three older kids (J decided he needed a morning nap) and took them to a BMX park.  The boys LOVED it! CO was nervous of the big hills at first (reflecting the same feelings of the little girl E and they would push their bikes up the hills, ride down dragging their feet and then do the same for the next hill) but the more he tried, and will lots of encouragement from mom he was able to do the whole course without falling by the end.

I can't get the video to load up...so I put it on youtube...click the link below to watch...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJf5NWGl_Ig



(please excuse my loudness...I am standing on the hill he kept falling on so was full of encouragement and praise when he conquered the hill)

So we are home again (well none of us are home...since the boys are each at different sitter's for the weekend and I am at work) and we need to decide on our next adventure. Hauling the trailer behind my truck was less complicated than I thought it would be so I am willing to haul it in the future. I just need to have someone at the other end that can back up and park the trailer for me :) (so far I only drive forward). Maybe this fall I can practice my backing up skills with the trailer.

I can't believe that there are only a couple of weeks of summer left. My August allergies have arrived this weekend...so hopefully I am able to keep the symptoms at bay so we can still do lots of fun outside. I have no idea what it is that is setting them off (I haven't really looked into it either) but I think it is funny that overnight I am sneezing and have major itchy eyes.

No luck so far with the nanny hunt...please keep this in your prayers...come the end of the summer I don't have childcare...sigh

loading up excitement

well I am packing into the trailer...have been since I got home. The boys were just dropped of recently and they are happily playing in the trailer while I load it up with all the stuff we are going to possibly need this week...
hopefully they wear themselves out so that it can soon be bedtime...

August...

August is in full swing...it isn't as busy as July was but we are having lots of fun the same. We spend as much time at the cottage during the week as we can. It is so nice and peaceful there and it is great that there is a pool just down the street that we can swim in daily as much as we want. In July J wasn't a big fan of the pool. He cried when we first went in and he would only really be happy if there was a ball for him to hold. I had a boat thing for him to sit in and he'd like it for a bit because there were a couple of balls floating in the inflatable part, but by the end of July whenever he was in it he would tip himself out...not so much fun for mommy when she is trying to swim with two boys at the same time. Well August...it is a completely different boy! He now JUMPS in! It is crazy funny to watch. He will stand alongside the pool, yell to me and then sign 'more' or 'please' to let me know he wants to jump in and then I'll stand in front and he'll jump right in. Because of his MAJOR comfort level change his life jacket stays on the WHOLE time he is in the pool area which he doesn't seem to mind once it is on...he complains when it is getting put on. I'll have to try CO's puddle jumper on him to see if it works for him sometime soon (it is currently at my parent's trailer).
Speaking of trailer...we are hauling it to Orangeville this week and parking it in a friend's driveway.  I haven't seen her in AGES and it will be nice to be in my old area for a bit and to see some old friends.
CO is now riding a two wheeler! He ZOOMS! It blows me away that he is a three year old riding a two wheeler...well he is almost 4...he has decided he wants a forklift on his cake :) what a kid!
Last week we were at home rather than the cottage as it was being rented out. We spent lots of time outside and I showed him how to catch grasshoppers. We collected a bunch in a jar and then took them down the road to feed to a neighbour's chickens. CO isn't the greatest at finding them...but if I point one out, he is able to catch it.

yummy salad lunch

I love market days because our fridge is full of yummy, healthy food. Today for lunch I chopped up tomatoes, cucmber, green beans, broccoli, carrots, strawberries and added blueberries, raspberries and blackberries. I stirred it all together and served it. It was SO good. No salad dressing needed as the juices from the food just blended it all up nicely.
CO ate it all. J only ate the berries, tomatoes and cucumbers (I snuck in a couple of broccoli stems)
Sorry no photos...we gobbled it up too fast :)

some busy weeks

I was checking out my camera the other day and realised that I took very few photos while at the cottage. :(

I think overall everyone had lots of fun. My cousin said her kids were full of stories of thier adventures on the drive away from the cottage. The two oldest kids were 'teens' and got to have lots of late night adventures including a night at a bowling alley. CO didn't like his program too much so I ended up taking him for a walk to the dump to find a treasure to keep him busy in the mornings. We settled on an antique sewing machine. Not only did it keep him busy, but his cousins and the neighbour kids too :). So between that and playing at the park with the Hewgill grandchildren, he wasn't missing his program at all. He declared that he was never going to school ever again...sigh.

The week was filled with crayfishing, swimming, park playing, volleyball, friends and stories. This year I read the children Danny Champion of the World. It was hard to get the reading done in the evenings with two small children as well as two teens and two in the middle, but we got many chapters in. I have to admit that one evening I was so captured by the story that I picked it up after all the children were in bed and I finished it (didn't get to sleep until 1am that night). I ended up sending the book home with my cousin so she could finish the story with them. Hopefully by now they are done.

 

Above are two of my favorite photos from my camera of our time at the cottage. They are of my cousin's youngest daughter M (these photos are sooc as my editing program is on my dead laptop...but they don't really need any editing). I love how they have captured her inner beauty and joy.

After the cottage we loaded everyone up and brought them to my house. Monday was a day of laundry, resting and swimming. Tuesday...a day of Marineland. It was expensive for all of us to go but overall very worth it. Everyone had LOTS of fun. Even little J. We rented a 12 passenger van and it was lots of fun all being to travel together. There was a dvd player in it so there was some movie watching too...to help keep the kids content.

When we arrived home from Marineland, CO's grandparents were at our house. We got to spend almost a week with them. We went to Centerville. It was a crazy ride down on the subway as J decided that he needed to have a huge fit and scream most of the drive. I think it was a mixture of tired, not feeling well and mad that I had put water in his bottle as he had drank the milk on the way to the train station. But after a nap in the stroller, he was much happier and he had LOTS of fun. I am SO glad that CO's grandparents were able to join us for this outing. I have been there many times in the past with my cousin and her kids when they were small and I knew that CO would LOVE it...and he DID! J too had a blast. CO's grandfather blogged about the trip here and here (and yes he posted photos of J...oops...CO's grandfather is BIG into 3D photography). I have yet to upload the photos off my camera from our time since the cottage...maybe next week...or after I finish the cake this week.

Yes I am doing another cake. It is for a party for a couple who are getting married next month. Thier family is having an auction and game night. Due to the fact that we are having a major heat wave here, I am kinda at a loss as to how to make this cake without it melting...so I am going to try my hand at marshmellow fondant and see how it goes. I have the air conditioner set to fairly cool to assist with the cake and keeping the humidity down so that all my ingredients don't turn out to be a big flop!

So the heatwave, on top of trying to get a cake done...is leading to some craziness today. J was put back to bed shortly after 9am since he was just too grumpy and I was sick of all the fighting and crying. CO and I headed out to eat some cherries outside in the shade but overall it is just TOO hot outside (34...feels like 38). So I have resorted to letting my son watch some curious george and berenstain bears. We've also read stories, did some puzzles and he helped me make the lemon filling for the cake.

CO has a speech appointment Friday morning, so we'll see what the next step is with that. It has been a year since I first started the whole process to get his speech assessed. Overall I am not very thrilled with the amount of help he has gotten. He started off with the 'home program' which was stuff for us to do at home (which I was more than fine with), but since then his therapist went on mat leave and so he was assessed by another lady and then invited to join a speech camp. Since then...nothing has really happened. I guess this upcoming appointment will show if he is progressing well enough with just me following the resources they gave me from the camp or if they will do something more. He hasn't started using any of the sounds that he struggles with at the begining of words but he has begun to add them to the middle and ends of words but he was doing that in the Spring. His pronunciation maybe lacking but his vocabulary has improved in leaps and bounds (all that good literature he is exposed to when I read to him I guess). This is one of the ones he is loving the most these day.

leviticus 23 and the feast of trumpets

²³ Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, ²⁴ “Speak to the children of Israel, saying: ‘In the seventh month, on the first day of the month, you shall have a sabbath-rest, a memorial of blowing of trumpets, a holy convocation.  (taken from Bible.com)

On the first day of the seventh month on my calendar here is CANADA DAY.  I didn't spend it as event filled as I thought I would this year (was going to go to a local city to participate in the events for the children) but it was still a good day. I packed up the kids and we spent it at my parent's trailer. There was swimming and playing. I had purchased a few Canadian flags earlier and the children all enjoyed waving them around and playing with them. We even had strawberry shortcake (a lovely birthday cake/dessert in Canadian colours: red & white) for dessert from supper. There were no fireworks or parades but in all honesty I was fine with that...my sons have a few years before they need to stay up to watch fireworks...maybe once they understand the concept of sleeping in the next day.  There were no trumpets (maybe next year) but I did spent time throughout the day thanking Jesus for my family and the time I get to spend with them. My niece is here for a couple of weeks. We stayed up last night making Canada Day sugar cookies. It was nice to be able to spent that time with her.

CO is LOVING having her around. She is learning to have patience with him :). It is easy for her as an only child to forget that he is only 3 and he may ask her questions more than once.

I unfortunately forgot my camera and may just dress the boys up in thier Canada t-shirts I bought them and take a photo of them pretending it is Canada Day :)
The pool at the trailer is nice and J spent the first 20 minutes mad to be in the water (even though he LOVES water) and the next 40 minutes loving splashing and being thrown into the air and landing in the water. I am hoping that he enjoys next week at the cottage pool and grows to love swimming as much as his brother. CO is close to being a swimmer. He can swim for short distances with no help. If the weather this upcoming week is nice, I hope to be in the pool daily and help him improve these skills even more.  I have an inflatable boat for J at the cottage so hopefully he will allow one of the big kids to play with him in the water so I can do some 1:1 swimming with CO. I will be at the cottage next week with a 1, 3, 8, 10, 12 & 12 year old. I will be the only adult most of the week so please feel free to pray :) My cousin is going to lend a hand but she is puppy sitting up the road at another cottage so I am not sure how much of a help she will be free to be.

I dropped J off at respite this evening and went home to pack for the upcoming week. I am hoping that on Sunday I am able to get home quickly from work, attach the trailer, load up the back of the truck and the trailer and pick up the three kids and be at the cottage before bedtime. I don't know how realistic this is as I am not off work until 3:30, J's bedtime is 7, I'll need to feed the kids supper and the cottage is an hour away...but I am willing to give it a try. I could wait until the morning but I wanted the kids to be able to attend the program next week and it starts bright and early Monday morning :)

a better week

I can't believe how much better this past week has been. CO is still defiant...but he seemed to be less so. He wasn't perfect and had his moments...but really it seemed like it was a nicer week.

The social worker (SW) called to say that J's visits are being extended to 3 hours to accomodate BM whom has shown up (doesn't have a fixed address but seems to be in the area). It seems CAS has to accomodate her as in court this month they are giving the grandparents time to aquire legal council in order to fight CAS's application for crown wardship. I knew going into this that it was going to be a long ordeal and that there were no guarantees that in the end the courts would grant crownwardship. So instead he is going to be gone for 5 hours every other friday (2 hours being travel time). I need to ask the SW what happens if BM decides to disappear again, if he will come home an hour early or if the grandparents will just have him the extra hour. 

In the meantime J is a joy and blessing...who is starting to show his temper :). He is 17 months old and is picking up sign language quite quickly. This week he used three signs in a row to ask for more milk (he signed more, milk, please). I need to expand my knowledge of signs so that I can continue to add to his. It is SO nice when he uses his signs to communicate his desires rather than his squeal.  His eating is getting better too! this past week he willingly picked up some cooked vegetable chunks and ate them :) sounds crazy but it is true! He is still a crazy picky eater but I can count on him eating SO much more than I could in the begining. He is up to 24.5lbs. He is working on puzzles and will stack blocks a few high (and then knock them down). I invested in a wood block animal puzzle (it has four blocks and a box they fit into). He doesn't try to form the animal but he spent a good 30-45 minutes practicing and mastering fitting the blocks into the box. He LOVES water and often will try pulling off his own clothes and try to climb into the bathtub when I am in the bathroom.

Speaking of bathroom....mine is almost done! I have a toilet and a working tub. My first bath wasn't as grand as I had planned...but when I return from being at the cottage this next week my relaxing, hot bath with my glass of wine and candles await me :)

cottage...week 1

My plan this summer is to try to spend every other week at the cottage. It is a lovely peaceful place on a Christian campground. It is a safe place for kids to be. I can know that CO is at the park on the next street over and I don't have to be there with him. (It is really quite close and I just have to walk a little down the street and I can see the park). CO can ride his bike and I don't have to worry.
We just got home from our first week at the cottage. Did I mention that the cottage is 12x24 feet big :) and two stories tall. It has a kitchen, sitting room and bedroom. Upstairs is wall to wall mattresses with walking space between and some shelving. It is sort of divided into three rooms upstairs. We can and have fit a lot of people in this little building and it works...more effectively in nice weather...less so in rainy weather. I remember one summer it was raining and the kids set up all the barbies in the back of my pick up truck and played back there for part of the afternoon. :)
Our week this past week was good. We didn't get there until Tuesday night as I had a staff meeting Tuesday afternoon. We made it to the pool once. It rained all three nights. The first night was a small thunder & lightning storm, the second was a severe thunder & lightning storm and the last it just rained.  Night two CO FREAKED out (part of it was being tired, part of it was the sound of the major storm on the steel roof above his head) and ended up sleeping in my bed. Needless to say we didn't fall asleep until 1130pm and he was still up at 6am. UG. Most people don't believe me that he is incapable of sleeping in. He only catches up on his sleep by his afternoon naps. Overall we had a successful week. There were lessons to be learned...like you aren't allowed to take off with your 1 year old brother to the park without mommy.
Today was the hardest day. It was rainy and blah outside and I was trying to keep them inside on the most part. J was not in a good mood (maybe coming down with something) and was more irritated  by CO's actions and was very fussy. I was handing out lots of time-outs for CO and finally mid morning J just went back to bed, the rain stopped and CO and I went for a small walk down the street. We watched one of the maintenance guys repairing the road after a washout and CO was fascinated and full of questions. CO had a LONG nap in the afternoon so that probably accounted for part of his rough morning. tired. I just get SO fed up by him hitting, kicking and shoving. Myself and J. And he seems to do it more when tired. and hungry. It is a fine line.
Now we are home. J is at respite for the weekend and I am officially unpacked. (my least favorite part about going away and I usually drag it out for days)
CO is tucked in bed and heading to the trailer in the morning with my parents...me...I should be getting ready for work...instead I type :) and catch up reading blogs.

my less than a year old laptop is caput. I would love to send it away for repairs (warranty) unfortunately I am having to wait for a dumb postal strike to be over.  So in the mean time I manage with occasionally borrowing mom's computer in the evening (after the kids are in bed). It would SURE be nice to have mine back and in working condition...so far I am not going to have my hopes up to have it functional this summer. It is supposed to take 2-3 weeks after I send it away and in the meantime I am stuck with not being able to even send it...here is to hoping the Canadian Government forces the postal workers back to work!! (I know selfish of me...)

Prayer for a strong willed child

Prayer for a Strong-Willed Child


When parents bring one of these tough youngsters into the world, they need to recognize that while raising that child may be difficult for a time, it is worth their effort to do the job right. Their attitude should be, "The Lord gave me this challenging child for a purpose. He wants me to mold and shape this youngster and prepare him or her for a life of service to Him. And I'm up to the task. I'm going to make it with the Lord's help." That's the healthy way of looking at parenting when the pressure is on.



I am convinced that there is no other true source of confidence in parenting. There is not enough knowledge in the books, mine or anyone else's, to counteract the evil that surrounds our kids today. We must bathe them in fervent prayer when we are in our prayer closet, saying words similar to these:



"Lord, You know my inadequacies. You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but in every area of my life. I'm doing the best I can to raise my kids properly, but it may not be good enough. As You provided the fish and the loaves to feed the five thousand hungry people, now take my meager effort and use it to bless my family. Make up for the things I do wrong. Satisfy the needs that I have not met. Compensate for my blunders and mistakes. Wrap Your great arms around my children, and draw them close to You. And be there when they stand at the great crossroads between right and wrong. All I can give them is my best, and I will continue to do that. I submit them to You now and rededicate myself to the task You have placed before me. The outcome rests securely in Your hands."

I've found that God is faithful, as a loving Father, to hear and answer that cry of the heart. Turn to Him for solace when you've reached the end of your rope. He will be there to comfort you and work within the soul of your beloved child.







Adapted from The New Strong-Willed Child by Dr. James C. Dobson. Copyright © 2004, Tyndale House Pubishers. All rights reserved. Used by permission.

Fridays...

Most people LOVE Fridays. It means thier last day of work for the week and a lovely weekend ahead of them. Me...Friday means my last day off and I head into work just before midnight. I don't dread that it is Friday as it means that I get to enter a different stressful environment than being with my son and it gives me a break from him so that by the end of my shift I am ready to return to the trenches of parenting for anther week. :) Not that he is ALL bad...he is just very trying and testing these last couple of weeks. I know it is probably associated with the fact that Grandpa was in and out of the hospital and is still recovering and because he had to double check where he fits in the world now that J is around and that we have not spent much time in our own house due to the bathroom reno so his routine is all mixed up. My CO has returned to the kicking, hitting and screaming stage of life...oh joy! Some days I SO want to ship him to Dr. James Dobson. One particularly trying day I looked at him and wondered if we were having such a bad day because he is three...or because his biomom took something while pregnant and this is just him....the second option scared the crap out of me as I just don't know if I have the energy to always be battling with him over every single thing. He is already over 50lbs at 3...I can't imagine how hard it would be to lug him to his bedroom at 10 with him having a full blown temper tantrum! PLEASE Jesus let this be a phase!
ANYWAY back to Fridays...well every other Friday J is picked up by a CAS driver and taken for a 2 hour visit with some of his family. Since moving in with me, he has had three of these visits. Each time they have sent him home in a size 6 diaper (he wears a size 3 and there are a minimum of 3 sent each time in his diaper bag).  Each of these visits he comes home so wired that he doesn't nap all day (which is odd as most days he is still napping twice). The last two visits we fought diarrhea for the rest of the day.  I am not sure WHAT they are feeding him or if the visits are just stressful for him...but I dread Friday afternoons! Because I am usually fighting with a tired little boy trying to get him to sleep or am up to my elbows in soiled laundry. Yesterday they sent him home in a size 6 diaper ON BACKWARDS!!! let me tell you that a diaper that is three sizes too big and on backwards holds NOTHING in. There was a mess everywhere. I am SO frustrated with his family because I get so little accomplished after he visits them and J is SO 'off' the rest of the day.
The one good thing about the visits is that CO and I get to spend a few hours together just the two of us. We went to the library and the park today. It was nice. In the future I need to make sure I am really on the ball so that we are heading out or starting our fun time right away when J is picked up by the driver.  Speaking of the driver...the one who brought J home this time put some of her iced tea in a sippy cup for him to drink on the drive home. ICED TEA!!! you know the beverage full of sugar and caffine...the perfect thing to feed a 16 month old!!! I pointed out that there was a bottle in the side pocket of his bag...so I dont' know if J's upset stomach today was from the ice tea, the visit or something else. I just hope that after a good night's sleep tonight he is feeling much better...I'd feel SO bad if he was sick at the respite's home.

dead batteries...

These last few weeks have taken a toll on me and my batteries are drained! So much that I have NO patience for my head strong, curious, defiant 3 1/2 year old. My parents refused to take him this weekend so I fortunatly was able to send him to the same family that looks after J on weekends.
I think he is displaying jealousy towards J but at the same time he is always wanting J around to be with. If J is sleeping, he will wake him up. He doesn't understand that J needs more sleep (especially since J was under the weather this past week).
I am constantly talking with CO about making choices, consequences and how he needs to choose my way over his. It is SO trying! How do I get my almost 4 year old to desire to obey? Sometimes I fear that this is not a 'stage' but a result of possibly being exposed to some drug or alcohol while in utero...and I don't know if I have the energy to handle him being this way or worse for ever...being tired doesn't help with my feelings on this! Having a ray of hope that this is a 'stage' is what I SO desire.
Sometimes I wish Dr James Dobson offered a boot camp for parents and thier strong willed children!

CO and his wagon...

CO got this wagon for Christmas. He spent most of the winter begging the adults in his life to put the dog in so he could take him for a ride. Well now that he has a little brother, he puts J in by himself and can be seen dragging him from one end of the property to another (lots of space to do that when you have almost 9 acres). He will stop and pick flowers or a pile of dried grass for J to play with. Sometimes a rock or two or 20. J on the most part doesn't mind. He squawks when CO picks him up but he seems to enjoy the ride...well once he was sharing the wagon with 20 rocks, not so much.

the case of the missing dish detergent aka bubbles of fun

CO got ahold of a bottle of dish soap that the Pathfinders forgot to put away this past weekend after thier camp. All these bubbles are just from the two boys going down the slide...they had SO much fun. When J would stand up the breeze would blow a giant bubble between his legs. I totally had to rinse them off after they got out...and I didn't even need to bath them.

update

My Dad is home and doing SO much better! His recovery is still a long one but it is nice to see him SO SO SO much better than last week.

My laptop is dead. My new laptop. New this past fall. So I have to ship it away to be repaired. :( NO FUN. In the meantime I have some access to my mother's computer but it is amazing how much one can miss thier own computer..I just wish I had access to my one email account.

Someone brought us supper tonight...SO appreciated!

Now the challenge of  'hanging out' at my parent's house during the day while my bathroom is being renovated and keeping the boys 'quiet' and 'well behaved' so that they don't disturb my father or destroy my mother's house.

help...

Do you know of someone or have you used 'Come Sit By Me' curriculum by Cyndy Regeling
it is supposed to be similar to FIAR but instead it uses all Canadian literature. I am interested in learning more about it but I am having troubles finding more information on it and any reviews from families who have used it.

crazy weekend..

It was a LONG weekend for me...Thursday some of my Pathfinders camped out because our annual camp was on the weekend and they were in charge. Most of Thursday was dedicated to last minute preparations (as well as spending some good time with my 'boys' before the weekend as I knew that it would be a crazy busy weekend with an expected 41 people camping out in the backyard)
Friday morning J went to his supervised visit with his grandparents. He once again did not nap the rest of the day and was a miserable grump that wanted to be carried all afternoon and evening. Not an easy feat when you are setting up and starting a camp. I went to bed that night wondering why my left hip was aching so much and then I remembered that I was holding J for so many hours :)
Saturday late morning we were greeted by a thunder storm and had to quickly decide on a plan B of activities which ended up bringing everyone into my sunroom to work on crafts. It was a tight fit expecially with a dog crate, two sets of bookshelves, my bathroom vanity and a train table. But we waited out the storm and within a few hours the weather had turned nice again and we were able to send everyone back outside to resume the camp activities.
Sunday morning my mother quickly arrived home from the trailer to drop off my sister and take my father to emerg. It seems he deteriorated VERY quickly over the weekend and was to the point that he couldn't hold a conversation or even walk. They did a CT scan on him and decided that he was bleeding on the brain again and was going to need some intervention medically. He was transfered to Hamilton General where they drilled into his head and put in a drain. He came out of surgery SO MUCH BETTER! He is in less pain and has gained back his long term memory. He can't remember anything from the past week and they are hoping that he will be fully recovered in the next few days. His headache still will exist but it won't be as painful as it has been this past week.
Mom is home.
My brother is at the hospital with my dad.
The campers have all gone home.
And there is only a few hints of camp left for me to deal with (the biggest being a trailer of craft supplies that need sorting but that is no rush).
Overall camp was a success and I am glad my father is on the mend. Fortuantely this intervention should help his recovery go much quicker...though he still has a long road ahead of him.
Me, I am happy that camp in my backyard only happens once a year!