Where has the summer gone??
I had LOTS more adventures that I would have liked to have accomplished this summer but when I reflect back, it is good that the summer wasn't filled with expensive trips to parks.
Instead it was a hard summer spent at the cottage on the most part learning and adjusting by all. Learning about family and adjusting to being in a family for the two newest. Learning to parent so many at once for me and adjusting to the new normal of trying to support each of the kids with their needs and helping them cope with their baggage.
It was a good summer. It was a simple summer. It went by TOO fast.
Yet at the same time I am going to drag it out longer. We are going away for another couple of weeks. I have yet to decide if this is the last trip, or the beginning of a few using the trailer. It will be our first time using the trailer as a family of 4. We are going to hang out this first trip on the shores of Georgian Bay. I am EXCITED.
T isn't scheduled to start SK until the 12th as he has a gradual start...where just a few of the class goes in on certain days to adjust...not sure.
But as much as he is excited for school, I think that the more time we spend as a family together is better than him going off for 6 hour days. Family is a new thing for him. It has been a hard adjustment having rules and boundaries. Sharing...HUGE struggle for him. I have seen some HUGE growth for T this summer and I am not sure I am ready for him to go off 3 days/week for 6 hours. Last Spring I would have said that it was good for the boys to be separate for a few days per week. But this summer has been great. Their relationship has grown and the constant fighting and bickering has almost disappeared. There is still bouts of jealousy and they don't get along 100% of the time but I don't think that they will ever live 100% in harmony? that is unrealistic.
I am off to tackle more packing....
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
cottage life of fun...
It is hard to believe how quick our summer has flown by. We are very much enjoying our life at the cottage. Swimming, picking berries, playing with friends, riding bikes and evening campfires.
I don't want it to end...
B thinks her life is perfect! Lots of dirt and a brother to play 'this little piggy' while sitting round the campfire eating marshmallows...
funny thing is I just cleaned her up from top to bottom less than an hour previous to this
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Our away summer...
We have been away from home more than we have been home this summer. It is my summer off from work. It has not been the best summer weather wise but we are making the most of it. Most of our time is at the cottage. I love living in my little 12x24 building on the campground. Life is simple.
The children are also loving life there. The days are filled with riding bikes, swimming and playing at parks.
T has turned from a child who had no clue how to pedal a bicycle (in which I had to hand over hand move his feet for a few days to get his brain to figure out how to make his feet move in circles to push the pedals) to riding a bicycle fast without training wheels. This is a difficult time for him as he adjusts to learning how to live 'in' a family and 'testing' to see if I will stop loving him. I admit I falter a lot with this child. I understand that he is suffering much loss and is confused over no longer seeing his first family. His whining drives me bonkers as does whining in general. I am working on it but need lots of prayer in this department. He goes out of his way to start fights with CO and then gets upset when CO lashes out in anger at him. So it is a lot of adjusting for all. T gets very jealous if I give someone else a compliment and not him, even if he has just treated me terribly and has done nothing to deserve a compliment. I struggle. He gets jealous of everything. It is hard. He could have 10 of something and then 5 minutes later another child could have their first of the same thing and he gets upset as he didn't get one too at that time. So much of his behaviour around food points to him having known hunger. I ask him. He doesn't remember or he just isn't ready to open up about that part of his life.
Life at the cottage is also easier because there is nothing there that reminds him of his first family. He knows where they live. So when we travel around at home, he is watching for them. It is sad. We actually ran into a member of his first family and it was awful. The man ignored him. How do you explain to a little kid that rejection? Life at the cottage is easier because they have the freedom to go and play and he hovers around me less. I need chunks of time in my day where someone isn't touching me, hovering around me and watching my every move. Life at the cottage is easier because I have a village. A group of people that support me. That will spend some time with T so that I can get a break. It is lovely. When we are at the cottage I hardly hear his wailing. He seems happier there. It may all be in my head because I am happier there.
CO is adjusting to life. He likes knowing that these kids will stay forever. He still misses J a lot. He has regressed in the fact that he is resorting to using actions before words when dealing with confrontation with T. If T won't play with him, he will hit him. There is a lot of hitting going on these days and the harshest punishment that I have discovered is writing lines. I know SO odd. But both boys detest it and they get to write out phrases like 'God made me to love' and 'God created me to be gentle'. Next up will be scripture.
B is coming along. We actually have moments now where she will stop eating. So that is really progress. Her struggles with drinking have disappeared completely.
Right now we have company up. This is our second batch of company in the last couple of weeks. Once this company leaves, we are headed back to our oasis.
I will add photos later.
Night it is WAY past my bedtime and I am going to regret it come 6 am as the boys do not seem to sleep in at home...at the cottage they don't stir before 730! and they are asleep earlier at night. Go Figure?!?!?!?
The children are also loving life there. The days are filled with riding bikes, swimming and playing at parks.
T has turned from a child who had no clue how to pedal a bicycle (in which I had to hand over hand move his feet for a few days to get his brain to figure out how to make his feet move in circles to push the pedals) to riding a bicycle fast without training wheels. This is a difficult time for him as he adjusts to learning how to live 'in' a family and 'testing' to see if I will stop loving him. I admit I falter a lot with this child. I understand that he is suffering much loss and is confused over no longer seeing his first family. His whining drives me bonkers as does whining in general. I am working on it but need lots of prayer in this department. He goes out of his way to start fights with CO and then gets upset when CO lashes out in anger at him. So it is a lot of adjusting for all. T gets very jealous if I give someone else a compliment and not him, even if he has just treated me terribly and has done nothing to deserve a compliment. I struggle. He gets jealous of everything. It is hard. He could have 10 of something and then 5 minutes later another child could have their first of the same thing and he gets upset as he didn't get one too at that time. So much of his behaviour around food points to him having known hunger. I ask him. He doesn't remember or he just isn't ready to open up about that part of his life.
Life at the cottage is also easier because there is nothing there that reminds him of his first family. He knows where they live. So when we travel around at home, he is watching for them. It is sad. We actually ran into a member of his first family and it was awful. The man ignored him. How do you explain to a little kid that rejection? Life at the cottage is easier because they have the freedom to go and play and he hovers around me less. I need chunks of time in my day where someone isn't touching me, hovering around me and watching my every move. Life at the cottage is easier because I have a village. A group of people that support me. That will spend some time with T so that I can get a break. It is lovely. When we are at the cottage I hardly hear his wailing. He seems happier there. It may all be in my head because I am happier there.
CO is adjusting to life. He likes knowing that these kids will stay forever. He still misses J a lot. He has regressed in the fact that he is resorting to using actions before words when dealing with confrontation with T. If T won't play with him, he will hit him. There is a lot of hitting going on these days and the harshest punishment that I have discovered is writing lines. I know SO odd. But both boys detest it and they get to write out phrases like 'God made me to love' and 'God created me to be gentle'. Next up will be scripture.
B is coming along. We actually have moments now where she will stop eating. So that is really progress. Her struggles with drinking have disappeared completely.
Right now we have company up. This is our second batch of company in the last couple of weeks. Once this company leaves, we are headed back to our oasis.
I will add photos later.
Night it is WAY past my bedtime and I am going to regret it come 6 am as the boys do not seem to sleep in at home...at the cottage they don't stir before 730! and they are asleep earlier at night. Go Figure?!?!?!?
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
B is TWO!
we decided that the birthday needed Balloons and LOTS of them
the outside deck was very decorated
Nana and Papa came
the neighbours came and joined in the celebration
overall she was well celebrated and it was a fun day
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