filling up when empty

I have found a lovely bible study group that I have joined. One of the BIG things that attracted me to it was that they run a kids program at the same time as the lady's Bible study. (vs just babysitting the kids and letting them play while feeding them goldfish crackers)
The book we are studying is




it is a very challenging book. I have been able to only attend a few of the sessions due to dr. app'ts etc. But I am really enjoying it. I am tempted to ask to borrow the dvds after the study is done so I can review them again on my own. One of the BIG things that God is showing me is how I am filling myself up when empty. Being a single person and now a single mother I have gotten into very bad habits such as turning on the tv when I am tired or just needing a 'me' moment. The study talks about how this is filling myself up with the world when I am low rather than filling myself up with God. Living in the small space that I do, the boys can hear me from their bedroom when I am cleaning up around the house, so I tend to sneak to the basement and lay on the couch and watch tv. Not that what I am watching is necessarily that bad (some of it really isn't that great) but still, I should be using my quiet moments to reflect on him. If I look at the challenges I set for myself for this year, I have accomplished very little of them. And I can blame it on the fact that the boys suck up SO much of my time, but in all honesty, the tv does too. So I am choosing to develop better habits. To turn first to God when I am low and tired and needing to be filled up, rather than the world. Step 1 in all of that is to erase my PVR (I kept a couple of family friendly movies for when I have company...which CO's grandparents are coming next month) and I have deleted 95% of my timers. I have kept 4 shows (Heart*land, 19 Kids* and Count*ing, Pare*nthood and Fri*nge). The plan is to not watch any of them for the next few months unless I am downstairs working on some sewing projects for Christmas. I have been teetering on this decision and putting it off. I KNOW this is what God is asking of me....He has shown me this week by: having the hydro go out for no reason one evening for 4 hours missing 3 PVR timers, put the PVR on the blitz another night, and having me fall asleep every time I tried to watch online tv. IS God talking to me or what??!!??
I am also going to go back to reading before bed rather than watching online tv. Read Christian biographies and parenting type books. I have a stack calling my name. There are some that I NEED to read as I am looking into alternate parenting ideas on how to deal with CO. As time progresses I suspect more and more that he had some prenatal exposure to something or has some missing links in his genes.
Since deleting my PVR timers, we have gone back to being more consistent with JK homeschooling, my house is cleaner (still need to work on that more) and I have spent MORE time with my kids doing fun and making memories.
I also want to invest in some speakers for my ip*od so I can listen to worship music when cooking, cleaning, playing, etc.
I have slid some and have used nap time to watch tv online...but hey I am far from perfect and I know it.
I just need to really remember that God wants all of me...He wants to spend quiet time together...
 
please pray for me during this new chapter I am starting on...

180 movie

CO's 4th birthday...

CO is ALL about forklifts this year. So for his birthday celebration we had a campfire. I asked the neighbour if we could borrow his forklift and the kids had great fun climbing on it.
I made CO his birthday shirt and I copied the design for his cake.

autumn fun

CO looked out the window today and exclaimed 'it is snowing leaves!'. I took the boys out and helped make a pile with some of the leaves. LOTS of fun

tradition...

I am ALL about tradition! Before I got my position working weekends our family had pancakes for breakfast EVERY Sunday. (my sister has since decided that she doesn't like pancakes anymore and my parents stopped the tradition as she had a sunday morning breakfast starvation protest going on)

this man has a 'pancake tradition' with his daughter to a whole new level...check it out

fall fair

I took the boys to the fall fair. J LOVED the animals...CO basically did what we do at home. He climbed on machines and found a corn (at home it is gravel) box and played with small machines.

in the evening I took CO to the moster truck show...a big hit...would have been a more successful trip with ear protection though.                                                                                                                                

a study group...

It has been over a year since my church canceled thier 'moms & tots' group. I have missed the fellowship greatly. My friend Sarah said that she belongs to a group about an hour away from where I live, about 30 minutes from her, that she loves because they also do biblical teaching for the children at the same time. But she was having troubles finding a group that was closer to where she lived. So that got me thinking that I really needed to find something. And the idea of a place that did more than just 'entertain' the kids and feed them juice and cookies seemed like an ideal element. So I finally found something about 30 minutes from me. I checked it out with the boys today and they seemed to really enjoy it. AND I think there are quite a few homeschool families as there were three classes for the kids (nursery, preschool & school). Exciting that it will also be a link to other homschool families.
They are studying a book titled 'What Happens When Women Say Yes to God'. I am missing next week as J has a post-op appoitment but after that...we'll be there!

now to find a sitter for CO for the post-op appointment...maybe I'll drag him along...

another toilet user in the house...

J is 20 months old now....and he is a toilet user :) I just feel that exposing kids to using the toilet early helps them to make the whole process natural rather than a battle of the wills (personal opinion) After lunch today I put J on the toilet (I do with each diaper change) and he urinated and had a bowel movement...I was SO excited as this is the first time he has had a bowel movement on the toilet. Yipee one less poopy diaper for me to change :)
after J's surgery (after I removed his catheter) he became very aware of when he urinated because honestly it caused him pain. When I noticed him showing the signs of pain, I'd tell him to push out his pee and he would (crying a bit while doing it) and then he would be happier. So that has probably helped with this whole process. I started a couple of months ago with just putting him on while the bathtub was filling (sound of running water usually made him pee on my bathroom floor so I figured I might as well sit him on the potty to save me from mopping up a puddle). I would say that 80% of the time I sit him on the toilet, he pees.
This isn't the ideal season for toilet training but I am game for him to be a toilet user...

**updated*** Tuesday morning at breakfast he started being gassy (he usually has a BM in the mornings) so I put him on the toilet and jackpot....another dirty diaper avoided!

Ordinary Heroes in the Mennonite Church

sad

I was reading the news...and came across this article...

how sad...why bother even going through the process at all if you aren't going into it with commitment in mind??

autumn outdoor swim

it seems that the end of September was a warm enough weather for CO to be swimming outside. I finally got around to uploading photos from my ipod and camera and it seems that CO swam outdoors whenever possible.

here he is swimming in his grandparent's house. Notice the leaves floating in the water :)  (I am going to have to try a photo rather than a video as it is taking blogger an extrememly LONG time to upload the video)

The pool was about 64 degrees and he swam in it almost every day that we were there. Usually for atleast an hour. Fortunately they have a hottub and he'd go it for a quick (less than 1 minute) plunge to warm up once he was all done. I wouldn't let him stay in the hottub any length of time as last time we were down I found that he got ill when spending time in the hottub. J was keen for the waterslide. He only went down once and that was enough for him. He spent the rest of the times in the backyard happily playing around the pool, with his lifejacket on. CO TRIED his hardest to convince J to go in the pool but he would have NO part in it. One cold plunge was enough for him.

 

The thing with CO's adoption is that it is an open one. Which I love his other family. His grandparents are amazing and he has a special bond with his aunt. I try to go out of my way to make sure he gets to spend some time on our visiting with his great grandmother and his cousins. I DO struggle with him spending time with his BM. This past visit it seemed her goal was to become his favourite 'aunt'. I so struggled inwardly with CO spending time with her 1:1. I feel fine when we are in a group and she is along, but it seems I find it really hard to send him off with her on an adventure without another member of her family. When he is grown, I don't want him to blame me for keeping her from him, but at the same time I have a hard time seeing where exactly the line should be drawn...especially now that she has a half brother through her that she is currently raising. I guess I need to talk to her, for she just communicates with her mother and then plans got made and I felt that I didn't really have control over it because I already had plans to attend a family event. I think her parents go out of their way to keep the communication away from me to protect me from if or when she ends up in a 'bad' place again.

Please pray for discernment in this for me.

We had a lovely time away and I got many of the 'things' done that I was wanting to. I was also able to take the boys to the Childrens' Museum in Hull. Next time we are in the area I totally want to take the boys again. Port of Entry was CO's favorite part and he spent a majority of his time there. CO's grandmother joined us which worked out well as J was wanting more to check out everything and once CO discovered the crane on the ship, he wanted to stay. We kept trading off when ever the two boys paths crossed.