filling up when empty

I have found a lovely bible study group that I have joined. One of the BIG things that attracted me to it was that they run a kids program at the same time as the lady's Bible study. (vs just babysitting the kids and letting them play while feeding them goldfish crackers)
The book we are studying is




it is a very challenging book. I have been able to only attend a few of the sessions due to dr. app'ts etc. But I am really enjoying it. I am tempted to ask to borrow the dvds after the study is done so I can review them again on my own. One of the BIG things that God is showing me is how I am filling myself up when empty. Being a single person and now a single mother I have gotten into very bad habits such as turning on the tv when I am tired or just needing a 'me' moment. The study talks about how this is filling myself up with the world when I am low rather than filling myself up with God. Living in the small space that I do, the boys can hear me from their bedroom when I am cleaning up around the house, so I tend to sneak to the basement and lay on the couch and watch tv. Not that what I am watching is necessarily that bad (some of it really isn't that great) but still, I should be using my quiet moments to reflect on him. If I look at the challenges I set for myself for this year, I have accomplished very little of them. And I can blame it on the fact that the boys suck up SO much of my time, but in all honesty, the tv does too. So I am choosing to develop better habits. To turn first to God when I am low and tired and needing to be filled up, rather than the world. Step 1 in all of that is to erase my PVR (I kept a couple of family friendly movies for when I have company...which CO's grandparents are coming next month) and I have deleted 95% of my timers. I have kept 4 shows (Heart*land, 19 Kids* and Count*ing, Pare*nthood and Fri*nge). The plan is to not watch any of them for the next few months unless I am downstairs working on some sewing projects for Christmas. I have been teetering on this decision and putting it off. I KNOW this is what God is asking of me....He has shown me this week by: having the hydro go out for no reason one evening for 4 hours missing 3 PVR timers, put the PVR on the blitz another night, and having me fall asleep every time I tried to watch online tv. IS God talking to me or what??!!??
I am also going to go back to reading before bed rather than watching online tv. Read Christian biographies and parenting type books. I have a stack calling my name. There are some that I NEED to read as I am looking into alternate parenting ideas on how to deal with CO. As time progresses I suspect more and more that he had some prenatal exposure to something or has some missing links in his genes.
Since deleting my PVR timers, we have gone back to being more consistent with JK homeschooling, my house is cleaner (still need to work on that more) and I have spent MORE time with my kids doing fun and making memories.
I also want to invest in some speakers for my ip*od so I can listen to worship music when cooking, cleaning, playing, etc.
I have slid some and have used nap time to watch tv online...but hey I am far from perfect and I know it.
I just need to really remember that God wants all of me...He wants to spend quiet time together...
 
please pray for me during this new chapter I am starting on...