A fresh start...

I realised that I needed to get rid of my 'hon estly a m y' blog for many personal reasons. I decided to quit blogging for awhile but it seems that there are people that are wanting to read it. So, here I start fresh

I am the kind of person that takes it personally when people don't like me. I know I shouldn't care what other people think. But I do! And it makes me sad when people in my life grow away from me. But I can't make people like me or spend time with me. I've tried. So then I give up on them and then I mourn the loss of them.

Recently I was told that someone in my life is purposefully avoiding me as they don't approve of who I am or how I live my life, how I treat my son & sister, etc. I am not sure how one is supposed to take this kind of news other than to be saddened by it. I know I am not perfect. I don't claim to be. I have MANY faults, of this I am aware. But I don't think I am such a bad person that people who I once considered 'friends' and 'close' now choose to NOT spend time with me. Have I really changed that much as a person from when we were friends? and why not talk to me? and tell me what the problem is?

This summer being thrown into motherhood was hard. It is something I wanted desperately for years but that didn't make the journey easier. Did I have expectations of those in my life when I became a mother. Yes. Was I disappointed that people that I were once 'major' parts of my life barely acknowledged that I was now a mother and did not make it a priority in thier life to meet my son...YES.

So now a fresh start. I will let those people go. As the poem goes 'if you love something set it free, if it comes back to you, it is yours, if it doesn't, it never was'.
I understand that God places people in my life for a time and for a reason. It just saddens me to loose some of those people, others I am relieved :)

and I ask of you....those of you who are in my life. Be HONEST with me. Just a simple request. Then I don't need to constantly guess as to why I am no longer good enough to be in your life!