farewell to fa*cebook

I have said farewell to fa*cebook (for over a month now). The saddest thing about getting rid of it is that I will loose that connection with the small handful of old acquaintances that I enjoyed keeping up with. But this means that I need to work harder at keeping the lines of communication open in other ways. I'd like to go back to good old letter writing (I know I have said this in the past and failed)
One of the biggest reasons I left fa*cebook is that I was tired of caring so much. Caring if people would be my friend or not. Caring that people didn't send me birthday greetings. Caring if people wouldn't comment on my status.
Another of the reasons I left it is that I found it addicting. Even though I kept my friend numbers low, and didn't join groups, I found myself checking it multiple times a day. What a waste of time!
This fall I have found myself overwhelmed a lot.
Overwhelmed by the amount of unnecessary stuff in my house, the clutter and the lack of space to put things. When my aunt moved in I lost a lot of space to keep my things and I have yet to have all those things that were once in her room organized so I can function and use it. Which is sad as it was my crafting things. And I miss creating things.
Overwhelmed by loneliness. I have no close friends. I have nobody in my life right now that I feel that I can talk or to who is challenging me spiritually. I work weekends so I miss out on fellowship on Sundays. I was attending a moms and tots biblestudy group at my church but this fall they decided to cancel it as there was just four moms. I was extremely sad by this and I have yet to find another one. I have decided to put myself out in the community more so that I can meet other moms. CO and I head out to different things a few times a week (playgroups, story times, etc.) but it is hard.
I feel like when I moved here over 5 years ago I lost all my friends that I had. It was not just because I moved, but they married, moved away and have new friends. Friends that they are closer to and they have more in common with. I got tired of working so hard to keep some of my friends as I felt I had to beg them to spend time with them and I didn't really feel that I should have to beg and bribe my way to keep a friendship. I know friendship is about giving and taking but I felt I was doing the giving and receiving nothing back. I am not saying the loss of these friendships weren't my fault, I know I am far from perfect.
I just really miss having a friend. Someone to talk to. Someone to turn to when I am sad and in need of a hug. Someone who I know will celebrate with me and be sad with me as I live my life's journey.

Being a single mom has been hard. I really struggled in the beginning and I had many moments where I felt overwhelmed. There were lots of moments of joy and I love having CO in my life. But I struggled with getting frustrated easily and feelings of guilt when he acted out or didn't listen well. I struggled with feelings of guilt when he acted poorly while under my parents care on the weekends. I faced lots of self-doubt on my ability to be a good mom. I took it personally when people complained about something my child did or didn't do. And the more people complained, the more I questioned my abilities and skills to raise my son properly. Which in turn made me unhappy. I couldn't control all of my son's actions and it isn't easy raising a head strong very stubborn child. But I think I am doing a good job. Could I do better? well I believe there is always room for improvement.

so how do I learn to take critism better? how do I take negativity being sent my direction and not let it turn me into an unhappy person full of doubt?

(CO is asleep so I am going to run to the store while my mother keeps an ear out for him)