that is the question. I have changed my feelings about this many times over the years. Origionally I blogged to keep in contact with a specific group of girls that I was close to...but after many years....we aren't really in contact anymore.
I have also switched my blog name many times....to go with how I was feeling, and what my vague goals were in blogging.
I have not blogged much recently. I was torn as I am not supposed to post photos of my son (who is yet to be 100% legally mine) which I was doing, so in order to be honest with my social workers and let my conscience be my guide (the whole Biblical law of obeying the laws of the land), I quit adding photos...
Also the last blog I had was called McGee, C & me....which is now nolonger relevant as McGee died this past fall.
So I will go back to just trying to be honest out there with anyone who cares to read. I am going to try to stop caring what others think. And stop fretting over the fact that those who I once considered to be my friends barely acknowledge my existence...who needs them?
me...I am still under construction...
I am working on being a better child of God
I am being a good mom (I need to be more patient and not raise my voice) who is working on teaching and guiding my little one to grow up to be a warrior for Christ
When I first contacted CAS to become a foster parent, I felt it was something that God was laying on my heart. I put it off for many years as I just didn't see how I could do it as a single mom (Silly me...forgot that with Christ ALL things are possible) so I was kind of half ass waiting for a man to come along so we could follow this path God was putting me on together.
Well over a year ago, I decided to just walk by faith and so I did...and as I was completing my paperwork, I asked my social worker to make my file ready for 'whatever' may come my way. I didn't want to come across a child that was supposed to be in my family 'now' but couldn't because I had to go back for extra training or meetings to qualify for them. And it is a good thing that I did because then I would never have gotten my little CO.
He is my busy little one
he gets into EVERYTHING
but at the same time he has the best laugh
a great sense of humor
runs like a weirdo
loves to dress up
and loves all things construction
and I am his 'mom'
but...now what?? I asked for my status with the CAS to stay open. I said I was willing to do relief work (for a child under 5)...but due to legal issues they couldn't use me as a resource because of CO's status not yet being complete and so I was considered to be a resource for his CAS rather than my own. I am still willing to do that....but it isn't likely to happen anyday soon as I am waiting for the court system to dot the i's and cross the t's to make things legal.
but in my heart....I am still waiting for my little girl....where she is....I do not know....but she is out there somewhere. In the meantime I spend it looking over photolistings online, and signing up to attend adoption exchanges.
so...what next? Sperm bank? Another CAS child? Embryo adoption? USA adoption?
I would love to hear your opinions on it all!!
but right now...I rest...it has been a long and busy day...and tomorrow will be another one as it is Moms and Tots Biblestudy and I am in charge of refreshments (which I have yet to bake) and I keep nodding off while typing this...my eyes are very heavy after all the yardwork I did today...night!
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