day of tears...

I was driving to a meeting this morning. My parents had CO (they took him on an errands when they knew I had the one hour meeting...which was a surprise after the conversation I had with my mother this past Sunday) and I started thinking about everything. And I just started feeling so overwhelmed. I never thought about this aspect of becoming a single parent. I knew it wouldn't be easy. But I never thought about the loneliness. I love my son and I hate being away from him every moment that we are apart. How is the future going to work? How am I going to raise him to be a knight for God when he doesn't have a dad? I feel so overwhelmed because I thought that I would have more support from the people in my life. So the tears just started flowing...(I was already feeling melancholy as I was at the part of Matthew dying in the book I was reading)
Tonight when my brother called to say that my vacation plans weren't going to work, I lost it again. I really had my hopes set on going. I am really needing to get away. As it is my plans are changing because we aren't able to stay with CO's grandparents until the last half of the trip because his aunt is busy writing her finals and needs the least amount of distractions possible as she has been struggling the last few weeks and has done poorly on a few tests lately and she can't afford to not do well. So we will be staying with my aunt and uncle. Which isn't going to be as relaxing of an environment. For one thing I'll probably end up having to share a bed with CO and their house is FAR from being child friendly. I am really wanting to spend the time with Morgain and I really hope she is able to join us.

please pray...