Today I kinda failed at mothering my needy, whiny, clingy child. I have his cold that he has been suffering from for the last week or so. I got home late from my niece's graduation ceremony last night. I drank a coffee so I could make it home the 1.5 hour drive...so when I got home at midnight, it then took me another couple of hours for the caffeine to wear off enough to sleep.
SO I started out the day with a sore throat and tired. The day was hot and muggy and will all those reasons, I failed miserably. The whining drove me bonkers. The crying drove me bonkers. The fighting and refusal to choose to play 'with' his siblings rather than fighting drove me bonkers.
I lost my patience.
A few times too many.
Then my other son cut off all my little girl's hair.
I lost my patience.
I got angry.
I stopped talking so I wouldn't say something I would regret.
Then the whining, crying, clinging drove me even more bonkers.
I tried to keep a distance but the clinging included the need to be in EVERY space I was. I drew the line at the bathroom!
I felt claustrophobic. I wanted silence.
I did not enjoy motherhood so much today. One son was desperate to play with the other but to no avail. So I decided to help them play together without letting them realize my plan. They used the kiddy pool as a boat, put on life jackets and pretended to go on an adventure. To South America one son declared. So I packed them some food for their journey. Because I know my one son always will gravitate to food. They had fun. I enjoyed my break from the whining, crying and I had some space finally.
Some days I question if I have the ability to fill the hole my son has from his 4 years of neglect...ONLY with the grace of God!
So now....I leave the sink of dirty dishes, and I turn in early and hope that tomorrow I have even more moments of enjoyment....
you can do it!
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