the updates on the kids is that we met them, there were no huge red flags, the older boys had fun playing together, I won the little girl's approval with a cinnamon bun and then we all went our seperate ways...
until tomorrow where they are both coming over after having access with the bio parents...
plans have been made for more visits
a date has been set for a move
I totall feel at peace for parenting 3 kids. I may have my head in a cloud but I think that it should go fairly smoothly considering I am dealing with my crazy kid and boy who is coming to me at almost 5 who is on his third foster home and only in care a year. There will be bagage to deal with but we will unpack and deal with each item one at a time. I am excited. Excited for CO as he has been really struggling being an only child and he will once again be able to develop his older brother skills. Excited for TJ because he will have a boy close in age to play with, will have lots of opportunity to join into more of community life and so much more. Excited for me as I get to experience some pink for the first time since getting my sister and excited for AE as she will get to get to be the princess of the house with two knights to protect her.
Yes it isn't always going to be roses and sunshine. Life never is. Having CO alone in my life is a reminder...
Biggest problem...childcare. The eternal constant problem that comes around many times a year for me. But I am at peace. I am not fretting and stewing. I have put ads up in some churches, I've had one person call already....it will work out. I have three and a half weeks to figure out that following weekend and then almost two weeks to figure out the rest :)
I am going to be travelling with all these kids to Ottawa for Easter....that makes me wonder if I am a tad crazy...
.................
house update
the spare bedroom is done! the room is all painted, the beds are assembled, the dresser is in place. All that needs to happen is a shelf or two put up in the closet and two children to move in.
the back entrance is painted grey. There are two coats on it and the downstairs bathroom and all that is left is to paint the woodwork in both of those spaces to finish up (they are primed).
It is looking nice. I need to locate the photos of this house that I took when first buying it and then post before and after pictures. It looks like a completely different house :)
....................
now it is almost 1am. I was late in getting at the painting this evening as I was skyping a certain cousin. In the morning I know there is going to be lots of shovelling of snow...kicking myself for once again not splurging on that electric snow blower.
.....................
my SW was here today. She has a couple of concerns with the house that I will need to get repaired to make it just a little bit safer. One is that the spindles on my staircase are too far apart (a small child could climb through) so I have to get the repaired as well as a couple of modifications on the fireplace grate.
night
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
tomorrow
Tomorrow morning we have a playdate for the two children who may be moving in with us...please pray for the whole situation...for hearts to be protected...for God's will to be done...
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
nesting...
CAS contacted me and they have a sibling set they would like me to meet and consider....
So, I've been in nesting mode...cleaning, sorting, getting rid of the last of the wallpaper and finally transforming the spare bedroom from a catch all crap space into a bedroom. I am SO happy to report that there is no longer blinding bright blue paint to be found in my house, nor is there wallpaper :)
When I purchased my house the two kid bedrooms were the brightest pink and blue possible! And each were two toned. The pink one got transformed into the boy's bedroom and was painted the same colour blue that they had in the last house. (I actually painted most of the rooms in the new house the exact same colours I had in the old house). It was hard to paint, as the was one wall covered in bright pink handprints and if you look at the wall still you can see the outline of them as they painted the handprints very thick.
Mom and I had planned a month ago that this week we would set up the spare bedroom anyway so it has worked out with good timing. The walls are a lovely sage green. I just need to get a couple of coats of white onto the woodwork (it may take three as the woodwork was also bright blue and even with a coat of primer, they still are very blue) then the floor is ready to paint, and then the bedroom will be ready to be setup.
CO has mixed emotions about this whole process. He is missing J so so much and just wants to have J back. He was totally acting up yesterday morning and I was totally not realising what the root of the problem was. He didn't want the spare bedroom set up because that means new kids rather than J back. He does want new kids. But overall he just wants his brother back.
If I get the spare bedroom done, I want to paint the downstairs bathroom and back entrance way as well. They are the last of the spaces to be painted.
The bathroom and back entrance are going to be grey. I wanted something that wouldn't show the dirt as easily as the boys used to come in from out back and head into the bathroom and there is a trail of dirt along the walls as they went. Plus the fixtures in the bathroom are yellow. Hard to find a wall colour that goes well with that :)
In the above photo you can see that the floor is two different colours...nothing surprises me when it comes to this house anymore...by the end of the week, it will be one colour...the same as the rest of the upstairs.
So, I've been in nesting mode...cleaning, sorting, getting rid of the last of the wallpaper and finally transforming the spare bedroom from a catch all crap space into a bedroom. I am SO happy to report that there is no longer blinding bright blue paint to be found in my house, nor is there wallpaper :)
When I purchased my house the two kid bedrooms were the brightest pink and blue possible! And each were two toned. The pink one got transformed into the boy's bedroom and was painted the same colour blue that they had in the last house. (I actually painted most of the rooms in the new house the exact same colours I had in the old house). It was hard to paint, as the was one wall covered in bright pink handprints and if you look at the wall still you can see the outline of them as they painted the handprints very thick.
Mom and I had planned a month ago that this week we would set up the spare bedroom anyway so it has worked out with good timing. The walls are a lovely sage green. I just need to get a couple of coats of white onto the woodwork (it may take three as the woodwork was also bright blue and even with a coat of primer, they still are very blue) then the floor is ready to paint, and then the bedroom will be ready to be setup.
CO has mixed emotions about this whole process. He is missing J so so much and just wants to have J back. He was totally acting up yesterday morning and I was totally not realising what the root of the problem was. He didn't want the spare bedroom set up because that means new kids rather than J back. He does want new kids. But overall he just wants his brother back.
If I get the spare bedroom done, I want to paint the downstairs bathroom and back entrance way as well. They are the last of the spaces to be painted.
In the above photo you can see that the floor is two different colours...nothing surprises me when it comes to this house anymore...by the end of the week, it will be one colour...the same as the rest of the upstairs.
Friday, February 15, 2013
my lesson in patience today
I homeschool. It is not for everyone. Some days I wonder if it is for me. Homeschooling is a BIG lesson in patience for me daily. Some days I would just like him to apply himself and get the required job done so we can accomplish other things. Today was one of those days. But I knew that if I stayed patient and went along doing things at his pace and his way, things would be done with a happier heart. Not faster by any means...
example #1. Calendar time & Math. He is wearing sound proof canceling headphones with a craft stick going from one ear to his mouth (to be a mouthpiece). In order to do this, I had to use a phone, dial his number and talk to him. I put it on speaker phone and he wasn't pleased as he wanted me to hold it but I showed him that there was a speaker phone button and I needed my hands free to help him. Calendar & Math time took about 3x longer to accomplish today but it was fight free. It took so long because he needed to keep readjusting the volume on the sides as apparently the headphones need lots of repairs and he got a couple of phone calls from other people that he needed to talk to....sigh...I told him to tell the caller to call back after school. :)
example #2....in order to look at the story sequencing photos, he needed not one but two magnifying glasses so he could see the photos better....sigh
but it is 1030, school is done, and now we can accomplish two more of my morning goals, vacuuming and getting paint from the hardware store...
Saturday, February 9, 2013
what we are reading....
I took a break from reading 'there is no me without you' while on my vacation up north. It is an intense book about AIDS/HIV in Africa and how one woman turns her home into a home for orphans and why. I really enjoy it but it is a book that requires alertness :)
I finished while I was away Full Disclosure by Dee Henderson
I have read her O'Malley series a few years ago. And really enjoyed it. I am not normally one that reads crime type/murder/mystery type books but I have enjoyed everything that I have read by this author. I know when I was reading the O'Malley series I needed to stop part way and read something else, just to give my brain a break from the crime stuff. But overall it is a book I didn't want to put down and found myself many evenings while away stretched out on the couch reading with Mugsy the cat purring beside me.
The read aloud that I am reading with CO these days is AA Milne's Winnie the Pooh.
A book I purchased in the last few months for CO is Press Here. He really enjoys it and thinks it is funny.
Here is a blurb from Amazon about it:
Press the yellow dot on the cover of this book, follow the instructions within, and embark upon a magical journey! Each page of this surprising book instructs the reader to press the dots, shake the pages, tilt the book, and who knows what will happen next! Children and adults alike will giggle with delight as the dots multiply, change direction, and grow in size! Especially remarkable because the adventure occurs on the flat surface of the simple, printed page, this unique picture book about the power of imagination and interactivity will provide read-aloud fun for all ages!
We had the book up North with us this past vacation and I found the bigger kids (9,11 & 13)following the insturctions and embarking on the journey of the dots :)
I finished while I was away Full Disclosure by Dee Henderson
I have read her O'Malley series a few years ago. And really enjoyed it. I am not normally one that reads crime type/murder/mystery type books but I have enjoyed everything that I have read by this author. I know when I was reading the O'Malley series I needed to stop part way and read something else, just to give my brain a break from the crime stuff. But overall it is a book I didn't want to put down and found myself many evenings while away stretched out on the couch reading with Mugsy the cat purring beside me.
The read aloud that I am reading with CO these days is AA Milne's Winnie the Pooh.
A book I purchased in the last few months for CO is Press Here. He really enjoys it and thinks it is funny.
Here is a blurb from Amazon about it:
Press the yellow dot on the cover of this book, follow the instructions within, and embark upon a magical journey! Each page of this surprising book instructs the reader to press the dots, shake the pages, tilt the book, and who knows what will happen next! Children and adults alike will giggle with delight as the dots multiply, change direction, and grow in size! Especially remarkable because the adventure occurs on the flat surface of the simple, printed page, this unique picture book about the power of imagination and interactivity will provide read-aloud fun for all ages!
We had the book up North with us this past vacation and I found the bigger kids (9,11 & 13)following the insturctions and embarking on the journey of the dots :)
Monday, January 28, 2013
our new normal...
So now we are a family of two....how long we will be a family of two I can't say. CAS would like to ensure our period of mourning is over before bringing a child in mourning to us...
I would say we are doing well. We have our sad moments but they are sparse. I cried this weekend during a meeting with my supervisor when he asked me how things were going...he had no idea that was all going on.
This evening there were tears from CO as he really misses his brother. But I know that the tears were spurred also by the fact that it is Sunday (he is always extra emotional as I went to work and left him for a couple of days) and we were late in getting home and settled into bed.
Do we miss Joshua?? of course! We will always in a way because we loved him. We did our job successfully in making him a member of our family while he was with us and that was our goal. To love him for the time he needed us to be his family.
Which is exactly what we will do for the next child that CAS bring to our door. We will love them and treat them like a member of our family for as long as they are with us.
Will it get easier as time goes on...probably not. But will we continue to do it...yes because we are commanded and called to...
*****************
So, we are a family of two these days. That is the only change We are still digging in full force with homeschooling. We are still planning a trip to see family and friends. We are still attending our weekly groups/clubs.
What else is different, I am taking advantage of this time to dive into organizing. Stuff that was neglected because we were focused on our last moments as a family of three being memorable. Stuff that was shoved to the side after moving in because I really didn't have a sport for it in the moment. I am happy to report that the last of the boxes from the move have all found homes.
We are reading...reading to each other these days. I am reading Winnie the Pooh to CO and he is reading BOB books and Fun Tales Books to me. We started a reading journal at the beginning of this year and CO was SO SO SO excited on Friday to discover that he has read 20 books so far.
CO has also mastered the art of whistling. He did a lot of practicing, once he started to get a bit of a noise out, he focused on volume. Now that he has mastered volume, he is focusing on tone.
CO's goals for the upcoming month...tying his shoes.
My goal for the upcoming month, paint the spare room and get it prepared for our next 'for now' family member.
This week we are heading up North to spend time with our dearly loved cousins and family. We are going to spend time learning, playing, and crafting together. There is a plan to go to the plunge and the Purple Platypus.
I would say we are doing well. We have our sad moments but they are sparse. I cried this weekend during a meeting with my supervisor when he asked me how things were going...he had no idea that was all going on.
This evening there were tears from CO as he really misses his brother. But I know that the tears were spurred also by the fact that it is Sunday (he is always extra emotional as I went to work and left him for a couple of days) and we were late in getting home and settled into bed.
Do we miss Joshua?? of course! We will always in a way because we loved him. We did our job successfully in making him a member of our family while he was with us and that was our goal. To love him for the time he needed us to be his family.
Which is exactly what we will do for the next child that CAS bring to our door. We will love them and treat them like a member of our family for as long as they are with us.
Will it get easier as time goes on...probably not. But will we continue to do it...yes because we are commanded and called to...
*****************
So, we are a family of two these days. That is the only change We are still digging in full force with homeschooling. We are still planning a trip to see family and friends. We are still attending our weekly groups/clubs.
What else is different, I am taking advantage of this time to dive into organizing. Stuff that was neglected because we were focused on our last moments as a family of three being memorable. Stuff that was shoved to the side after moving in because I really didn't have a sport for it in the moment. I am happy to report that the last of the boxes from the move have all found homes.
We are reading...reading to each other these days. I am reading Winnie the Pooh to CO and he is reading BOB books and Fun Tales Books to me. We started a reading journal at the beginning of this year and CO was SO SO SO excited on Friday to discover that he has read 20 books so far.
CO has also mastered the art of whistling. He did a lot of practicing, once he started to get a bit of a noise out, he focused on volume. Now that he has mastered volume, he is focusing on tone.
CO's goals for the upcoming month...tying his shoes.
My goal for the upcoming month, paint the spare room and get it prepared for our next 'for now' family member.
This week we are heading up North to spend time with our dearly loved cousins and family. We are going to spend time learning, playing, and crafting together. There is a plan to go to the plunge and the Purple Platypus.
(from our camping adventure in September)
Thursday, January 17, 2013
our last moments...
our last moments were good.
I admit my world was rocked when I got the phone call saying that he was moving the next day at 11. I totally had my mind set on the 24th and was planning everything around the 24th. Then to be told the 16th that he was moving the 17th, my wall fell. I cried and felt kind of overwhelmed.
Previous to the phone call I was planning a birthday party for him for the 18th. My brain was all muddled. What to do? My mom came to the rescue and suggested we celebrate at her place and I pick up a cake on the way. So that is what we did. I am glad I ran out with CO on Tuesday evening to select a gift for J. So the birthday party was low key. There wasn't as many people round the table as I had envisioned, but J was SO happy. He was surrounded by people that loved him and he was excited to be 3! The magic 3. He had been waiting for this moment for many months.
For CO's sake, I know sticking to routine will help him through this. So after the celebration we headed off to take CO to Awana (and the plan was for J and I to grocery shop as usual). After dropping CO off, J wouldn't leave? He just kept calling me a meanie. I was puzzled. He likes grocery shopping. So I asked him what was up? And he reminded me that he was three now. He could stay at Awana.
Light bulb moment.
He has been waiting for a LONG time to be old enough to go to Awana. So stay we did. He was SO proud to be taken to his class and participate with them. And it was good. I may have been in desperate need for eggs and other staples. But this was his only chance. And it was good. I got to have a nice long chat with another homeschool mom. I had been wanting to connect with her for a long while. It was good. A good night.
There were tears at bedtime. The boys were told that this 'might' be their last night. We snuggled, read stories. Had big emotions and went to bed.
Me didn't sleep much.
Our morning involved CO taking advantage of his sleeping brother and getting some good playing in of the new birthday toys.
I told CO that for sure J was moving before lunch. I told J that the driver was coming to get him and that he wasn't coming back. Which is hard. He doesn't understand the 'why' of all this. He once again told me I was a 'meanie'. He hid in the bathroom cabinet. He didn't like what I was saying.
We had leftover cake and ice cream for breakfast and all sat snuggling in the living room. There were some big feelings. There was lots of talking. There was watching the Lorax with hugs, kisses and snuggles. (Before breakfast I loaded all J's stuff outside onto the tailgate of my truck)
Once I knew that the social worker was here, I had the boys say their goodbyes inside and I took him out.
It was hard.
CO and I snuggled and cried. Then we took a deep breath and moved on with out day. Grocery shopping, swimming lessons, and home for our much needed naps.
We are good. The boys have some days of adjustment ahead of them. The difference is that CO has someone to validate his feelings, J...not so much.
So the prayers can be for both of the boys...for their days and nights ahead. Having J with us for 20 months was good. Both boys grew a lot and learned about life as a brother.
CO is already dreaming and talking about his new 'for now' brother or sister...
I admit my world was rocked when I got the phone call saying that he was moving the next day at 11. I totally had my mind set on the 24th and was planning everything around the 24th. Then to be told the 16th that he was moving the 17th, my wall fell. I cried and felt kind of overwhelmed.
Previous to the phone call I was planning a birthday party for him for the 18th. My brain was all muddled. What to do? My mom came to the rescue and suggested we celebrate at her place and I pick up a cake on the way. So that is what we did. I am glad I ran out with CO on Tuesday evening to select a gift for J. So the birthday party was low key. There wasn't as many people round the table as I had envisioned, but J was SO happy. He was surrounded by people that loved him and he was excited to be 3! The magic 3. He had been waiting for this moment for many months.
For CO's sake, I know sticking to routine will help him through this. So after the celebration we headed off to take CO to Awana (and the plan was for J and I to grocery shop as usual). After dropping CO off, J wouldn't leave? He just kept calling me a meanie. I was puzzled. He likes grocery shopping. So I asked him what was up? And he reminded me that he was three now. He could stay at Awana.
Light bulb moment.
He has been waiting for a LONG time to be old enough to go to Awana. So stay we did. He was SO proud to be taken to his class and participate with them. And it was good. I may have been in desperate need for eggs and other staples. But this was his only chance. And it was good. I got to have a nice long chat with another homeschool mom. I had been wanting to connect with her for a long while. It was good. A good night.
There were tears at bedtime. The boys were told that this 'might' be their last night. We snuggled, read stories. Had big emotions and went to bed.
Me didn't sleep much.
Our morning involved CO taking advantage of his sleeping brother and getting some good playing in of the new birthday toys.
I told CO that for sure J was moving before lunch. I told J that the driver was coming to get him and that he wasn't coming back. Which is hard. He doesn't understand the 'why' of all this. He once again told me I was a 'meanie'. He hid in the bathroom cabinet. He didn't like what I was saying.
We had leftover cake and ice cream for breakfast and all sat snuggling in the living room. There were some big feelings. There was lots of talking. There was watching the Lorax with hugs, kisses and snuggles. (Before breakfast I loaded all J's stuff outside onto the tailgate of my truck)
Once I knew that the social worker was here, I had the boys say their goodbyes inside and I took him out.
It was hard.
CO and I snuggled and cried. Then we took a deep breath and moved on with out day. Grocery shopping, swimming lessons, and home for our much needed naps.
We are good. The boys have some days of adjustment ahead of them. The difference is that CO has someone to validate his feelings, J...not so much.
So the prayers can be for both of the boys...for their days and nights ahead. Having J with us for 20 months was good. Both boys grew a lot and learned about life as a brother.
CO is already dreaming and talking about his new 'for now' brother or sister...
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
update....
Social worker just called. Moving day is NO longer the 24th. It is now tomorrow at 11am.
UG
Birthday party I had planned for J's 3rd for friday is now canceled!
sucks
sad
Do I tell the boys today or tomorrow??
sniff
UG
Birthday party I had planned for J's 3rd for friday is now canceled!
sucks
sad
Do I tell the boys today or tomorrow??
sniff
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