our last moments...

our last moments were good.

I admit my world was rocked when I got the phone call saying that he was moving the next day at 11. I totally had my mind set on the 24th and was planning everything around the 24th. Then to be told the 16th that he was moving the 17th, my wall fell. I cried and felt kind of overwhelmed.
Previous to the phone call I was planning a birthday party for him for the 18th.  My brain was all muddled. What to do? My mom came to the rescue and suggested we celebrate at her place and I pick up a cake on the way. So that is what we did. I am glad I ran out with CO on Tuesday evening to select a gift for J. So the birthday party was low key. There wasn't as many people round the table as I had envisioned, but J was SO happy. He was surrounded by people that loved him and he was excited to be 3! The magic 3. He had been waiting for this moment for many months.
For CO's sake, I know sticking to routine will help him through this. So after the celebration we headed off to take CO to Awana (and the plan was for J and I to grocery shop as usual). After dropping CO off, J wouldn't leave? He just kept calling me a meanie. I was puzzled. He likes grocery shopping. So I asked him what was up? And he reminded me that he was three now. He could stay at Awana.
Light bulb moment.
He has been waiting for a LONG time to be old enough to go to Awana. So stay we did. He was SO proud to be taken to his class and participate with them. And it was good. I may have been in desperate need for eggs and other staples. But this was his only chance. And it was good. I got to have a nice long chat with another homeschool mom. I had been wanting to connect with her for a long while. It was good. A good night.
There were tears at bedtime. The boys were told that this 'might' be their last night. We snuggled, read stories. Had big emotions and went to bed.
Me didn't sleep much.

Our morning involved CO taking advantage of his sleeping brother and getting some good playing in of the new birthday toys.
I told CO that for sure J was moving before lunch. I told J that the driver was coming to get him and that he wasn't coming back. Which is hard. He doesn't understand the 'why' of all this. He once again told me I was a 'meanie'. He hid in the bathroom cabinet. He didn't like what I was saying.
We had leftover cake and ice cream for breakfast and all sat snuggling in the living room. There were some big feelings. There was lots of talking. There was watching the Lorax with hugs, kisses and snuggles. (Before breakfast I loaded all J's stuff outside onto the tailgate of my truck)
Once I knew that the social worker was here, I had the boys say their goodbyes inside and I took him out.
It was hard.
CO and I snuggled and cried. Then we took a deep breath and moved on with out day. Grocery shopping, swimming lessons, and home for our much needed naps.

We are good. The boys have some days of adjustment ahead of them. The difference is that CO has someone to validate his feelings, J...not so much.
So the prayers can be for both of the boys...for their days and nights ahead. Having J with us for 20 months was good. Both boys grew a lot and learned about life as a brother.

CO is already dreaming and talking about his new 'for now' brother or sister...