I surprisingly had a good and peaceful weekend at work. A rare event. Usually I come home SO exhausted due to Sundays being stressful for one of the fellows. For some reason he was totally at peace today...so in the future if you are looking for something to add to your prayer list on Sundays....add for me to have peaceful Sundays at work....it was so nice to be able to come home and have energy to interact with my son. He on the other hand was his usual Sunday evening emotional wreck (I have decided it is his way of punishing me for abandoning him for the last 40hours). This evening we were able to spend a BIG chunk of time just reading, singing and praying together before I put him to bed.
He is really liking the books we borrowed from the library Chicka Chicka ABC, A Boy A Dog and a Frog, Titch, From Head to Toe and The Freight Train. I will read them to him and he will often chime in as he remembers parts from when we read them on Friday. Also he has begun to read the story to me right after I read it to him. We have just started doing this and he does fairly well to remember the story.
I finished reading 'I Will Carry You' by Angie Smith....this book is definitely a book that requires you to have a box of kleenex close by.
My kitchen floor is sticky even though it has been washed twice already this evening. My lovely niece somehow dropped and shattered a large dish half full of sweet and sour rib sauce and a rib all over my kitchen. It was even on the ceiling and some of it went through the kitchen window and landed on the stairwell to the basement! I see much floor washing in my immediate future....it will probably take a few more washes (maybe just one if I do it on my hands and knees with HOT HOT water)
Depending on the weather I may just take the kids to the park in the morning so they can run and play and be tired so I can get a LONG nap out of CO and maybe get some housework done. I still have troubles doing it when he is awake as he is constantly wanting his turn with the vacuum, mop, etc. Some days I just give him his own bucket of water and a rag so I can get some scrubbing done with my rag and bucket of cleaner.
My Uncle and Aunt are arriving tomorrow for a few days. They are bringing supper (which is great as nobody in my family seems to enjoy cooking on Mondays).
Once again it is late and I am heading off to bed...maybe I'll get a couple of pages read before I just fall asleep.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
finally...an update
my laptop is finally back up and running...which means I am back to the blogging world. I have been away for too long.
Update...well my house got rearranged in the fact that my sewing/craft room in the basement was emptied out to make room for my aunt to move in and so I have had to downsize my stuff and make it all fit into a little corner space in 1/3 of the basement sitting room. Also I moved my tv to the basement. I just found that it was sucking up too much of my life and CO was becoming so attached to it that he was having temper tantrums if I wouldn't let him watch it. In the basement it is out of sight and out of mind. He still does watch tv. But just mostly on weekends when he is being babysat by my parents. I do set the PVR to tape the occasional episode of Curious George for him to watch. But on the most part he is just under 3 years of age...he doesn't need to be watching tv. And in all seriousness...who does? Since I moved the tv down, I have found more time for reading, etc. Which is great. Now I just need to find the energy to do some housework in the evenings. More often than not I am tempted to just curl up with a book after CO is asleep and then crawl into my bed.
This summer has been BUSY! I have my niece M on and off through the summer. I have taken hundreds of photos (that I have yet to edit as I lost photoshop when my laptop crashed...and have to wait until the end of August for my FIL to reload it for me)
Last weekend I worked my friday night and then I went home and loaded CO and my sister up and we headed to Orangeville for a China friends BBQ. It was great to see some old friends and to meet their new little ones. I also spent the next couple of days getting together with some old friends. Then we (now M too) packed up and headed to my friend's trailer where we spent less than 24 hours but FILLED our time with beaches, water slides, boating, fishing, etc. I am going to try to upload a video from my flip camera this week if I can. I took some video of the kids going down the water slides. After leaving the trailer, we headed to the cottage (which I am trying to spend much time at this summer as I have taken over my family's portion of the taxes and in all reality it is a GREAT place to spend time with. There is a pool, parks and space for CO to ride his bike around) We swam and swam and swam at the cottage. We also slept well at night! :) I like taking my sister up there as she is a little more social. At home she tends to just hang out in her bedroom listening to the radio.
Upcoming summer plans....well we still have our yearly visit to China Town, we are going to take the train to Ottawa for a couple of weeks at the end of August, my aunt & uncle are coming up and I am hoping to get them to join us for a couple of adventures (centreville, a zoo, etc.) the kind that are just too stretching to take a 16, 11 and almost 3 year old by myself.
I was going to start a vegetable garden this year but in all reality, I'd rather have the summer that we are having without having to be tied down to weeding and watering the garden. Maybe in a couple of years I'll plant a couple of vegetables with CO. I am even tempted to run over the flowerbed with the lawnmower. I attacked it at the beginning of the season but I should have mulched it as it is just crazy with weeds right now. My aunt may have a small heart attack when she sees it this week (she has a big green thumb. her yard at home is practically 99% flowerbeds)
I have been researching a lot these days about the different possibilities for CO's future education. I know he is only 2 (almost 3) but in all honesty I don't think public school is for us. I have found a bunch of book lists online that are for children his age and we have been LOVING spending lots of time just reading together. It is so nice to be able to read him short stories these days instead of just simple board books. He is loving stories like Mike Mulligan and From Head to Toe. I think it is great that I can read stories with repetitive lines that he is picking up and chiming in. I want him to grow up to love literature. I am also challenging myself to read more classics and biography type books that are based on people's adventures and challenges rather than fiction that are easy reads and not much of a challenge or learning experience.
In the Spring I read Not Without My Sister which was about three sisters that were raised in a cult. I found this book very fascinating, some parts disturbing, yet amazed that this happened in MY lifetime. In July I finished Oliver Twist which I absolutely LOVED! I have never read it before and I love the musical based on the book. Currently I am reading I Will Carry You which is by a lady whose blog I have been following on and off for the last couple of years and The Lake Erie Shore which I am not far into, but am hoping to get farther along soon. I am struggling to get past all his facts of millions of millennia, etc. as I am not one that believes that the world is that old. It isn't really something that is up for debate I just don't personally believe that the world is millions of years old. I have my 2010 book list in a book at home and am hoping to add to my list to this blog sometime this week. (I am currently at work).
This summer I also decided that I wanted to take up drawing. If I am going to homeschool one day I want to be able to at least know some of the basics when I teach CO art one day. I am quite impressed with my meager attempts thus far. I have probably spent TOO much time at this and I should head back to work (though everyone is asleep and not needing me so I should probably try to catch a couple of Z's myself)
Update...well my house got rearranged in the fact that my sewing/craft room in the basement was emptied out to make room for my aunt to move in and so I have had to downsize my stuff and make it all fit into a little corner space in 1/3 of the basement sitting room. Also I moved my tv to the basement. I just found that it was sucking up too much of my life and CO was becoming so attached to it that he was having temper tantrums if I wouldn't let him watch it. In the basement it is out of sight and out of mind. He still does watch tv. But just mostly on weekends when he is being babysat by my parents. I do set the PVR to tape the occasional episode of Curious George for him to watch. But on the most part he is just under 3 years of age...he doesn't need to be watching tv. And in all seriousness...who does? Since I moved the tv down, I have found more time for reading, etc. Which is great. Now I just need to find the energy to do some housework in the evenings. More often than not I am tempted to just curl up with a book after CO is asleep and then crawl into my bed.
This summer has been BUSY! I have my niece M on and off through the summer. I have taken hundreds of photos (that I have yet to edit as I lost photoshop when my laptop crashed...and have to wait until the end of August for my FIL to reload it for me)
Last weekend I worked my friday night and then I went home and loaded CO and my sister up and we headed to Orangeville for a China friends BBQ. It was great to see some old friends and to meet their new little ones. I also spent the next couple of days getting together with some old friends. Then we (now M too) packed up and headed to my friend's trailer where we spent less than 24 hours but FILLED our time with beaches, water slides, boating, fishing, etc. I am going to try to upload a video from my flip camera this week if I can. I took some video of the kids going down the water slides. After leaving the trailer, we headed to the cottage (which I am trying to spend much time at this summer as I have taken over my family's portion of the taxes and in all reality it is a GREAT place to spend time with. There is a pool, parks and space for CO to ride his bike around) We swam and swam and swam at the cottage. We also slept well at night! :) I like taking my sister up there as she is a little more social. At home she tends to just hang out in her bedroom listening to the radio.
Upcoming summer plans....well we still have our yearly visit to China Town, we are going to take the train to Ottawa for a couple of weeks at the end of August, my aunt & uncle are coming up and I am hoping to get them to join us for a couple of adventures (centreville, a zoo, etc.) the kind that are just too stretching to take a 16, 11 and almost 3 year old by myself.
I was going to start a vegetable garden this year but in all reality, I'd rather have the summer that we are having without having to be tied down to weeding and watering the garden. Maybe in a couple of years I'll plant a couple of vegetables with CO. I am even tempted to run over the flowerbed with the lawnmower. I attacked it at the beginning of the season but I should have mulched it as it is just crazy with weeds right now. My aunt may have a small heart attack when she sees it this week (she has a big green thumb. her yard at home is practically 99% flowerbeds)
I have been researching a lot these days about the different possibilities for CO's future education. I know he is only 2 (almost 3) but in all honesty I don't think public school is for us. I have found a bunch of book lists online that are for children his age and we have been LOVING spending lots of time just reading together. It is so nice to be able to read him short stories these days instead of just simple board books. He is loving stories like Mike Mulligan and From Head to Toe. I think it is great that I can read stories with repetitive lines that he is picking up and chiming in. I want him to grow up to love literature. I am also challenging myself to read more classics and biography type books that are based on people's adventures and challenges rather than fiction that are easy reads and not much of a challenge or learning experience.
In the Spring I read Not Without My Sister which was about three sisters that were raised in a cult. I found this book very fascinating, some parts disturbing, yet amazed that this happened in MY lifetime. In July I finished Oliver Twist which I absolutely LOVED! I have never read it before and I love the musical based on the book. Currently I am reading I Will Carry You which is by a lady whose blog I have been following on and off for the last couple of years and The Lake Erie Shore which I am not far into, but am hoping to get farther along soon. I am struggling to get past all his facts of millions of millennia, etc. as I am not one that believes that the world is that old. It isn't really something that is up for debate I just don't personally believe that the world is millions of years old. I have my 2010 book list in a book at home and am hoping to add to my list to this blog sometime this week. (I am currently at work).
This summer I also decided that I wanted to take up drawing. If I am going to homeschool one day I want to be able to at least know some of the basics when I teach CO art one day. I am quite impressed with my meager attempts thus far. I have probably spent TOO much time at this and I should head back to work (though everyone is asleep and not needing me so I should probably try to catch a couple of Z's myself)
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Myrtle Beach
as soon as C saw the beach...he couldn't take his clothes off fast enough! He LOVED being there...running in and out of the water
this is at the little park across from the beach house
this is at the little park across from the beach housewe are in Myrtle Beach...we left Thursday morning and drove down. We spent the Thurs night in a hotel and drove the rest of the way arriving Friday afternoon.
Since arriving I have got to experience lots .... including:
1. Target...I have heard lots about the wonders and deals of Target...I got some good deals...I didn't get lots of opportunity to check things out but I was impressed...
2. Piggly Wiggly...I find this to be an odd name for a grocery store. Deals are labeled as 'Pig Allerts' I am not sure if this is good or not :)
there are currently fireworks going off...which is odd to me...maybe for Mother's Day? speaking of which...my little one gave me a rose and a card :)
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
May update
The last few weeks of April were crazy busy! I was doing lots of running around trying to collect all the papwerwork I needed in order to get C a passport. The problem is that his adoption is 'just' finalized so I didn't have access to new paperwork or old paperwork...well to make a long story short...we headed to the passport office and picked up his passport this morning. Earlier I had signed us up to go on a field trip to a local dairy farm put on by the EYC here. I didn't think we'd be able to attend but since we made it to Kitchener and back in good time, we headed over. C had a great time. He really liked being that close to the cows (& the poop...he is such a boy and all about the poop)
I think I still slightly smell of cow farm (or the smell is stuck in my nose) but it was worth it.
Now I need to pack and finish getting ready as we leave first think in the morning for Myrtle Beach...very exciting!
I think I still slightly smell of cow farm (or the smell is stuck in my nose) but it was worth it.
Now I need to pack and finish getting ready as we leave first think in the morning for Myrtle Beach...very exciting!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
another sporadic post...
I know I am a very inconsistent blogger. But hey. I am not even sure anyone is out there. So this past Friday I was able to pick up the Adoption Order. I never knew a paper could make me cry. Especially the part that said that the child will now be known as C.... O.... S... A.... M... (initials...I know that that is a long name...but I love it!) Anyway, there was a communication glitch between me and the guaranteur so I wan't able to actually go to the passport office until Monday.
I went. No passport. But they require a couple of papers/letters and I have been working on all the paperwork that the letter writers require. Hopefully I can get these two letters by Thursday so I can head to the passport office on Friday.
Sunday...I went to the Adoption Resource Exchange Conference in Toronto. I was only planning on checking things out and seeing what it was all about. I ended up putting my name down for 3 kids. Putting my name down just puts me in a pot of possible families. The chances of me getting selected are SLIM to none! There were a lot of families there. And the kids I choose were very close in age to C and the chances of me getting another young and healthy child at this point I don't think are that great. BUT God is a miraclemaker...and if any of these children are meant to call me mom...He will make it possible. The only hard thing is that I dream of these children. I can totally visualize them (one in particular) living here and running and playing with my son.
Only time will tell. I will be happy regardless who happens to be the parents of these children. There are lots of children and they all just need a family to love them forever.
It is late...I need to head to bed...well I am in bed but I need to get to sleep...tomorrow is another busy day!
I went. No passport. But they require a couple of papers/letters and I have been working on all the paperwork that the letter writers require. Hopefully I can get these two letters by Thursday so I can head to the passport office on Friday.
Sunday...I went to the Adoption Resource Exchange Conference in Toronto. I was only planning on checking things out and seeing what it was all about. I ended up putting my name down for 3 kids. Putting my name down just puts me in a pot of possible families. The chances of me getting selected are SLIM to none! There were a lot of families there. And the kids I choose were very close in age to C and the chances of me getting another young and healthy child at this point I don't think are that great. BUT God is a miraclemaker...and if any of these children are meant to call me mom...He will make it possible. The only hard thing is that I dream of these children. I can totally visualize them (one in particular) living here and running and playing with my son.
Only time will tell. I will be happy regardless who happens to be the parents of these children. There are lots of children and they all just need a family to love them forever.
It is late...I need to head to bed...well I am in bed but I need to get to sleep...tomorrow is another busy day!
Monday, April 19, 2010
busy busy
well things have been busy here to say the least. Last week the Pathfinders had a sleepover/campout in the back yard, C got a new play area (had to be dug out and then 10 tonnes of pea gravel was dumped into it)
and I have been making millions of phone calls trying to get all the paperwork I need to get C a passport so we can go with his Grandparents to South Carolina at the begining of May. (this is not a smooth process and I am hitting lots of speed bumps so please pray about this)
I went to Orangeville to visit a friend for the day. It was a great day. Low Key and perfect. C had lots of fun and was asleep within 5 minutes of driving away :)
I am busy trying to get my flowerbed edged and weeded so it can be mulched. Next plan is to make 2 raised vegetable beds. I am also hoping to get a post digger and make a fenced area around the back of the barn so I can look at getting some chickens and stuff.
C is not adjusting the best to me going back to work. I am dealing with lots of extra behaviour issues sunday evenings and mondays. He also usually doesn't sleep well my first night back.
I think he is on his 5th time out this am and it is only 10am.
that is just some of what is going on. I hope I will get a minute or two to add more info soon...
and I have been making millions of phone calls trying to get all the paperwork I need to get C a passport so we can go with his Grandparents to South Carolina at the begining of May. (this is not a smooth process and I am hitting lots of speed bumps so please pray about this)
I went to Orangeville to visit a friend for the day. It was a great day. Low Key and perfect. C had lots of fun and was asleep within 5 minutes of driving away :)
I am busy trying to get my flowerbed edged and weeded so it can be mulched. Next plan is to make 2 raised vegetable beds. I am also hoping to get a post digger and make a fenced area around the back of the barn so I can look at getting some chickens and stuff.
C is not adjusting the best to me going back to work. I am dealing with lots of extra behaviour issues sunday evenings and mondays. He also usually doesn't sleep well my first night back.
I think he is on his 5th time out this am and it is only 10am.
that is just some of what is going on. I hope I will get a minute or two to add more info soon...
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
once upon a dream....
I love waking in the morning after having a lovely dream! Especially when I dream of being loved.
People ask me about 'finding a husband' quiet often in my life. And the funny thing is that I don't dream of a big white wedding, I don't spend my waking moments on the 'hunt' for a husband. I am not actively looking for a husband....why? because I gave that over to God a long time ago.
Do I want a husband? yes
Will I be happy if I am single the rest of my life? I will aim to be
but I am assuming that IF there is a guy for me out there, I will be open and receptive to what God`s plan is for our life and that in HIS time things will happen if that is a plan he has for me
Would it be nice to have a dad for Chase...definitely! I see him watch dads and their kids...and I know he is going to want that in his life too....but at the same time....I am not going to set us up for heartbreak by taking the whole `finding a man`into my own hands and enter into relationships that are not what God has in store for us.
I have dated in the past....and that has just made me learn that I need to follow God's plan as the heartache and regret of giving part of my heart to someone who wasn't supposed to get it is with me
IF I ever have a husband I want him to
1. love God first
2. love me (& now my son)
3. work hard
4. understand 'family' including an extended one
that is it...I don't care if he is handsome (as he will be to me inside and out) or looks like a movie star...I do care if he has a good heart. Does he need to be perfect? NOPE because I most definitely am not and I wouldn't expect him to be either
I always thought I needed to have a husband before I could be a mom. Single parenting is HARD! and single parenting a child like my son is no easy task. But if I had waited for a husband before choosing to obeying God telling me in my heart to foster....I would not have my son. (and I made this error for a few years)
Do I love being a mom...yes...though if you notice it is 5am and I am blogging...mostly because I have been up for over an hour dealing with my son and the restless sleep that he is having tonight. That was a big adjustment. Being sleep deprived and not allowing that to justify grumpiness. I thought I was over the whole lack of sleep thing....but it is even harder now that I am back to work. I come home from working my 40 hours over 3 days and before I was a mom, I'd crash on the couch in exhaustion....now I can't do that as I come home to a freshly rested toddler!
but back to my original focus of this rambling
Once upon a dream....
In my dreams I have a prince charming that loves me.
I have a husband
and yes he has a face and a name and he is based on someone that I know in real life. His face changes over the years. It has been the same person for awhile now...do I expect that I will marry this person...nope...he is from my past and is actually going to be married to someone else. But that is alright...cause in my dreams I am loved
and I am happy with that :)
content
does this blog make sense....I don't care...cause I am actually going to try to catch some more sleep now...
night
People ask me about 'finding a husband' quiet often in my life. And the funny thing is that I don't dream of a big white wedding, I don't spend my waking moments on the 'hunt' for a husband. I am not actively looking for a husband....why? because I gave that over to God a long time ago.
Do I want a husband? yes
Will I be happy if I am single the rest of my life? I will aim to be
but I am assuming that IF there is a guy for me out there, I will be open and receptive to what God`s plan is for our life and that in HIS time things will happen if that is a plan he has for me
Would it be nice to have a dad for Chase...definitely! I see him watch dads and their kids...and I know he is going to want that in his life too....but at the same time....I am not going to set us up for heartbreak by taking the whole `finding a man`into my own hands and enter into relationships that are not what God has in store for us.
I have dated in the past....and that has just made me learn that I need to follow God's plan as the heartache and regret of giving part of my heart to someone who wasn't supposed to get it is with me
IF I ever have a husband I want him to
1. love God first
2. love me (& now my son)
3. work hard
4. understand 'family' including an extended one
that is it...I don't care if he is handsome (as he will be to me inside and out) or looks like a movie star...I do care if he has a good heart. Does he need to be perfect? NOPE because I most definitely am not and I wouldn't expect him to be either
I always thought I needed to have a husband before I could be a mom. Single parenting is HARD! and single parenting a child like my son is no easy task. But if I had waited for a husband before choosing to obeying God telling me in my heart to foster....I would not have my son. (and I made this error for a few years)
Do I love being a mom...yes...though if you notice it is 5am and I am blogging...mostly because I have been up for over an hour dealing with my son and the restless sleep that he is having tonight. That was a big adjustment. Being sleep deprived and not allowing that to justify grumpiness. I thought I was over the whole lack of sleep thing....but it is even harder now that I am back to work. I come home from working my 40 hours over 3 days and before I was a mom, I'd crash on the couch in exhaustion....now I can't do that as I come home to a freshly rested toddler!
but back to my original focus of this rambling
Once upon a dream....
In my dreams I have a prince charming that loves me.
I have a husband
and yes he has a face and a name and he is based on someone that I know in real life. His face changes over the years. It has been the same person for awhile now...do I expect that I will marry this person...nope...he is from my past and is actually going to be married to someone else. But that is alright...cause in my dreams I am loved
and I am happy with that :)
content
does this blog make sense....I don't care...cause I am actually going to try to catch some more sleep now...
night
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
to blog or not to blog...
that is the question. I have changed my feelings about this many times over the years. Origionally I blogged to keep in contact with a specific group of girls that I was close to...but after many years....we aren't really in contact anymore.
I have also switched my blog name many times....to go with how I was feeling, and what my vague goals were in blogging.
I have not blogged much recently. I was torn as I am not supposed to post photos of my son (who is yet to be 100% legally mine) which I was doing, so in order to be honest with my social workers and let my conscience be my guide (the whole Biblical law of obeying the laws of the land), I quit adding photos...
Also the last blog I had was called McGee, C & me....which is now nolonger relevant as McGee died this past fall.
So I will go back to just trying to be honest out there with anyone who cares to read. I am going to try to stop caring what others think. And stop fretting over the fact that those who I once considered to be my friends barely acknowledge my existence...who needs them?
me...I am still under construction...
I am working on being a better child of God
I am being a good mom (I need to be more patient and not raise my voice) who is working on teaching and guiding my little one to grow up to be a warrior for Christ
When I first contacted CAS to become a foster parent, I felt it was something that God was laying on my heart. I put it off for many years as I just didn't see how I could do it as a single mom (Silly me...forgot that with Christ ALL things are possible) so I was kind of half ass waiting for a man to come along so we could follow this path God was putting me on together.
Well over a year ago, I decided to just walk by faith and so I did...and as I was completing my paperwork, I asked my social worker to make my file ready for 'whatever' may come my way. I didn't want to come across a child that was supposed to be in my family 'now' but couldn't because I had to go back for extra training or meetings to qualify for them. And it is a good thing that I did because then I would never have gotten my little CO.
He is my busy little one
he gets into EVERYTHING
but at the same time he has the best laugh
a great sense of humor
runs like a weirdo
loves to dress up
and loves all things construction
and I am his 'mom'
but...now what?? I asked for my status with the CAS to stay open. I said I was willing to do relief work (for a child under 5)...but due to legal issues they couldn't use me as a resource because of CO's status not yet being complete and so I was considered to be a resource for his CAS rather than my own. I am still willing to do that....but it isn't likely to happen anyday soon as I am waiting for the court system to dot the i's and cross the t's to make things legal.
but in my heart....I am still waiting for my little girl....where she is....I do not know....but she is out there somewhere. In the meantime I spend it looking over photolistings online, and signing up to attend adoption exchanges.
so...what next? Sperm bank? Another CAS child? Embryo adoption? USA adoption?
I would love to hear your opinions on it all!!
but right now...I rest...it has been a long and busy day...and tomorrow will be another one as it is Moms and Tots Biblestudy and I am in charge of refreshments (which I have yet to bake) and I keep nodding off while typing this...my eyes are very heavy after all the yardwork I did today...night!
I have also switched my blog name many times....to go with how I was feeling, and what my vague goals were in blogging.
I have not blogged much recently. I was torn as I am not supposed to post photos of my son (who is yet to be 100% legally mine) which I was doing, so in order to be honest with my social workers and let my conscience be my guide (the whole Biblical law of obeying the laws of the land), I quit adding photos...
Also the last blog I had was called McGee, C & me....which is now nolonger relevant as McGee died this past fall.
So I will go back to just trying to be honest out there with anyone who cares to read. I am going to try to stop caring what others think. And stop fretting over the fact that those who I once considered to be my friends barely acknowledge my existence...who needs them?
me...I am still under construction...
I am working on being a better child of God
I am being a good mom (I need to be more patient and not raise my voice) who is working on teaching and guiding my little one to grow up to be a warrior for Christ
When I first contacted CAS to become a foster parent, I felt it was something that God was laying on my heart. I put it off for many years as I just didn't see how I could do it as a single mom (Silly me...forgot that with Christ ALL things are possible) so I was kind of half ass waiting for a man to come along so we could follow this path God was putting me on together.
Well over a year ago, I decided to just walk by faith and so I did...and as I was completing my paperwork, I asked my social worker to make my file ready for 'whatever' may come my way. I didn't want to come across a child that was supposed to be in my family 'now' but couldn't because I had to go back for extra training or meetings to qualify for them. And it is a good thing that I did because then I would never have gotten my little CO.
He is my busy little one
he gets into EVERYTHING
but at the same time he has the best laugh
a great sense of humor
runs like a weirdo
loves to dress up
and loves all things construction
and I am his 'mom'
but...now what?? I asked for my status with the CAS to stay open. I said I was willing to do relief work (for a child under 5)...but due to legal issues they couldn't use me as a resource because of CO's status not yet being complete and so I was considered to be a resource for his CAS rather than my own. I am still willing to do that....but it isn't likely to happen anyday soon as I am waiting for the court system to dot the i's and cross the t's to make things legal.
but in my heart....I am still waiting for my little girl....where she is....I do not know....but she is out there somewhere. In the meantime I spend it looking over photolistings online, and signing up to attend adoption exchanges.
so...what next? Sperm bank? Another CAS child? Embryo adoption? USA adoption?
I would love to hear your opinions on it all!!
but right now...I rest...it has been a long and busy day...and tomorrow will be another one as it is Moms and Tots Biblestudy and I am in charge of refreshments (which I have yet to bake) and I keep nodding off while typing this...my eyes are very heavy after all the yardwork I did today...night!
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