what we are reading...

when choosing a curriculum for using with CO, I wanted one that had a big focus on loving to read and loving to learn. I am a firm believer that if you have a passion for reading, you can learn about anything!
My son IS following in my footsteps for a love of books. When tucking him into bed tonight, there were atleast 10 books in his bed :)
For over a year we have been reading Chapter books together. He is always begging for 'one more chapter' when I read at night.
Currently I am reading to him
The Dragons of Blueland which is by Ruth Stiles Gannett. It is the 3rd in the series. We started with My Father's Dragon and then read Elmer and the Dragon.



He got The Dragons of Blueland for Chistmas.

I have been feeling convicted about the amount of tv I watch in the evenings and how it isn't really always up to the moral standing that God wishes me to live by. So, I have decided to spend less time at the tv and more time with my nose in a book.
My fourth book for this year so far is 'there is no me without you' by Melissa Gay Greene. I am just starting it this evening.

I have SO so many books that I own and maybe I have not read all of them to completion, so I guess you could say that was another one of my goals...to read what I own.....

number three

My house may not be the cleanest this week but I have finished my third book so far this month...earth shaking :)



Planet of the Blind by Stephen Kuusisto

From Amazon

"In the country of the blind," the old adage asserts, "the one-eyed man is king." But in Stephen Kuusisto's superb new memoir, The Planet of the Blind, the world of a one-eyed man is a kingdom of confusion and quixotic struggle. Born with only residual vision, one eye capable of 20/200 vision and the other unseeing, Kuusisto was led by the insistence of his mother and the ignorance of the society around him to an elaborate and harrowing attempt to appear sighted. At times the effort was life-threatening, as with the bicycle he rode from the ages of 10 to 30 ("Were my years of cycling an actuarial gift?" he wonders), and at other times profoundly humiliating, as when his stumblings and collisions are assumed to be signs of habitual drunkenness. Indeed, the almost inconceivable effort of maintaining his sighted masquerade leads to all sorts of self-destructive behavior, from obesity to anorexia, from booze and cigarettes to drugs and perilous clambers up fire escapes. Most biography is a recounting of struggle that leads to success and achievement, but Kuusisto's story is of a lifelong struggle that leads to acceptance. For this gifted poet, the barely glimpsed visual world is an irresistible temptation, despite pain, embarrassment, and failure. When he finally submits to the white cane and a guide dog, suddenly he can envision a "Planet of the Blind," a place where those without sight live in peace with their own lives, where "everyone is free to touch faces, paintings, gardens," a place where beauty is behind the eye of the beholder. --John Longenbaugh

 

update...

Well the judge read the paperwork yesterday and....wants more. Next court is the 24th (two days after his 3rd birthday) so as long as the paperwork is submitted on time and not procrastinated on...J will be picked up late on the 24th by the SW and moved to go live with his grandparents.
The SW came today. She is going to find out exactly what this 'more paperwork' is that the judge wants but she thinks it has to do with access with bio mom.

SO

two more weeks

I am torn, because it is so hard on both the boys for J to be only with us three days a week. It is hard for him to transition from his two so totally different worlds. It is hard on CO because we are all in limbo.

It is a pain to have to retrain J every week to use manners, to feed himself, to not use certain 'not nice' words, to eat, obey, etc. But it is part of the job of foster parenting....which is what I have signed up for...it usually takes 1.5 of the 3 days to get the kinks worked out and my sweet boy back. tiring

It would nice for J to just be settled. Once he is moved, then he will hopefully not have to feel like he is having to choose between all the people that love him. His bio family is often giving him false information about us and it must be confusing for him.

I really hope for his sake that this move is successful...

the unknown...

what if this was the last week that you would be a whole family? what would you do?

It is hard with the unknown hanging over us. On one hand I would LOVE to step in a time machine and return to life before July. Life where there was no possibility that any day I could get a phone call from CAS telling me that today is the day that my son stops being a brother and I stop being a mother of two.
I have determined to live this week like it is our last (even though it isn't a week but only three days)

Last night when he got home, I was ready to call the SW and ask him to pick him up in the morning. I hate that I was in that frame of mind but I had just dealt with over an hour of tears and some nasty things coming out of my little J's mouth that I know is him just spewing out what he hears with his bio family. Things that hurt CO to hear, and that made me into a mama bear wanting to protect my cub from their meanness. These people have never met me. Never met my son or my family, yet they have NO problem filling J's head full of garbage about us.

Today has been a much better day. I explained to J from the moment he got up that there will be NO more talk of certain things. That we were going to all be a family and love each other and only say nice things about each other. I think he understands because no more of the garbage has come out of his mouth today. It must be hard for him to hear them say nasty things about people he considers to be his 'family'.
Today we cuddled more. We danced more. We played more.
We went out for lunch together at our favorite place and had ice cream for dessert.
Tonight I surprised the boys after supper with mini boxes of smarties.
The boys are in a good place. They are able to play, imagine and go on great adventures together. They still have their moments of disagreement where someone acts out their anger, but they are quick to forgive and move on. It is part of being a family. Learning to compromise and get along.
Because of the unknown. I think we might celebrate his birthday early. Maybe on Friday we will invite the neighbours  go swimming. I'll get balloons and bake a cake or cupcakes.
We will celebrate together as the people who love him even though we don't share genes with him.
We will make our last moments be filled with love and good.

October Baby

I just finished reading October Baby





I had heard about it awhile back and had a mental memory that it was something I wanted to read and there is a movie that I wanted to see too. I got the movie for Christmas.

***** great book and movie!

last plea for lessons...

J is desperate for swimming lessons. He has been dragged to watch CO take swimming lessons for over a year and I've been telling him all along that he had to wait until he turned three. This past fall He started anticipating his birthday after Christmas knowing that it meant he could then take lessons too. When I asked his SW last week if I could sign him up, she did not hesitate to say no.
I asked if it was possible to relay to the grandparents J's desire for lessons and have them sign him up. The answer was that there is no indoor pool in thier town and it wouldn't be something they would be interested in doing in the winter as they would have to travel over a half hour to an indoor pool.
So today I gave one last plea on J's behalf for swim lessons. The SW said she would talk to her supervisor. If he moves before the lessons are up, the hope is that he would come and spend Thursdays with us until the lessons are over. Which means that after he moves, contact could continue weekly for a few weeks afterwards...which would be good for everyone I think.

doesn't this boy look ready to swim???

be still my heart...

So after months of knowing that J is moving...talking with the social worker last night, it could be as early as this upcoming week. SIGH
All that we are waiting on is the judge to read the last document submitted, accept it and then order him home.

I'm going to miss this face!

first day - January 2013

first day of the new year...(well the first part as I misplaced my ipod mid afternoon and switched to my camera and have yet to upload the photos from my camera)